


4,722 Hours of Happiness

by BrusselsSprout



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 3x18, 3x19, 3x22, 4x01, 4x02, 4x04, Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fitz POV, Fitz/Mack friendship, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Humour, Hurt/Comfort, Jemma POV, Leo Fitz & Skye | Daisy Johnson Friendship, Mild Smut, Missing Scene, Romance, Season/Series 03, Season/Series 04, Smut, Team, buskids, post-ep, sarcastic fitz
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-01-18 06:46:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 32,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12383043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrusselsSprout/pseuds/BrusselsSprout
Summary: The story of Fitz and Simmons navigating their newly transformed relationship between the end of S3 and the beginning of S4. Intended to be canon compliant.The story follows the show timeline. The chapters are connected, but they can also be read as stand-alone stories.  Angst, fluff, humour, light  and more explicit smut and everything in between.  Ratings (G-M)  vary by chapter and will be indicated in the chapter summary.The summary of the individual chapters will indicate appropriate warnings.Updated: Jemma finally learns about Fitz's hallucinations during S2. Angst and smut.





	1. Afterglow (post-3x18; T)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-ep for 3x18 - Singularity
> 
> Light references to smut, but nothing explicit. Jemma POV

Afterglow – this was the first word that popped into her mind as Jemma rested her head on her best friend's bare chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. Though best friend did not sound right, now that they have finally crossed the "event horizon" - she smiled to herself. She found it hilarious that Fitz used science words as a medieval bard – clearly not comfortable with calling things what they were. She decided to let it go for now. There would be many opportunities to tease him mercilessly about this.

Instead she leaned over to kiss him softly on the lips. His eyes were a deep blue pool; on the bottom stirring with strong currents of emotions which made her dizzy, but the surface was smooth and smiling, like clear water on a sunny day. He gently caressed her hair, ran his fingers light as feathers tracing the lines from her ears to her fingertips. She closed her eyes revelling in the sensation – his warmth, his skin, his smell – all very familiar, yet at the same time exciting and new.

The buzz of a phone jerked her back into reality.

"We should start moving" sighed Fitz as Jemma tried to find the phone in the pile of their clothes discarded on the floor.

"Is Fitz back?" she heard Mack's exhausted voice through the line. "Are you guys ready to move?" The urgency in his voice reminded her of the reality.

"Yes, he got back not long ago. We'll be there in 15 minutes." she replied. They needed to get back to their work, the situation was dire. Still, she was happy they finally decided to just roll with it. The past years taught her that it was futile to wait for a perfect moment, which may never arrive. Ever since the Hydra takeover of SHIELD, their existence has been precarious. Little moments (forever existing and inevitable in Fitz's mysterious fourth dimension) like shiny white pebbles were scattered around their path. It took them long enough to realize that they had to lay claim to them and use them as best they could.

Well, in truth Jemma understood Fitz's hesitation, his anxiety, his nervousness. She took a long enough time to figure out what she wanted, and when she did, their separation and her relationship with Will cast a long shadow between them. They were circling around the inevitable, never until now arriving to the same place at the same moment. She knew she was holding his heart in her palms, just like he was holding hers, with the power to crush it. Thankfully, they were back at a place of absolute trust, different than before, but stronger and again unbreakable.

Jemma's clinical mind has always categorized sex as a biological need, like eating, drinking and sleeping. A handsome face, a symmetrical body and a lack of entanglement provided fleeting, but uncomplicated bliss. With Will, she had learnt a different lovemaking, one that came from a place of complicated emotions of guilt, longing, caring, anger and resignation.

This was still nothing compared to what just happened. What kind of explosion was needed after a decade of foreplay? But they were both playful, reassuring and so attuned to each other, that Jemma's anxiety quickly dissipated and in the end it was the sweetest, most emotionally fulfilling lovemaking she has ever experienced.

"Do we have time for a quick shower?" Fitz asked.

"Indeed, excellent idea" she smiled at him as they crammed into the little shower together briefly enjoying the hot water.

"This is better than I ever imagined." said Fitz smiling at her and Jemma understood that he was not talking about the shower, but the new place of intimacy

"And it will only get better, boyfriend," Jemma said savouring the word like an exotic fruit she never tasted before. "because perfection requires discovery. And discovery requires…"

"..experimentation" finished Fitz the thought with a twinkle in his eye. "And if there is something we excel at it's…"

"lots of experimentation." finished Jemma leaning in for another kiss.

They dried off quickly putting on clean clothes for the flight back and hurried to meet Mack at the Quinnjet.

"What took you so long?" he boomed when he saw them emerging from the taxi, taking in their changed clothes and wet hair.

Jemma was grateful for the darkness, as she could feel her face turn red. What to tell to their colleagues was one in a series of long discussions they needed to have, but probably would not have time for.

"Hive has Radcliffe." Fitz's voice was now serious. Jemma struggled to refocus her mind back on the job. "And I saw Daisy, she nearly killed me" he finished with sadness in his voice. Jemma looked at Fitz with alarm. With all that happened between them, they did not discuss their mission. "I'm sorry, but it looks like we are going back empty handed."

"I can't believe Daisy would take part in this freak show. There must be something else we can try. Well, let's call it a lucky night, after your run-in with Hive that we all live to tell the tale." Mack nodded towards both of them. "Get inside; let's get this bird in the air."

As Jemma and Fitz moved passed Mack, she heard him mutter "Attaboy, Turbo" under his breath.  "I'll go check on the pilot then we'll call Coulson for debrief" he said and left them alone in the plane.

"We've got a lot to talk about" said Fitz as they sat down. "You ran into Hive, Jemma? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, we were kind of busy." Jemma retorted. "It was… " _nothing_ she wanted to say, but stopped herself "…awful, Fitz. He pretended to talk to me like Will." she finished with a whisper.

"Oh, Jemma" Fitz's face contorted with worry "I'm so sorry – you should have told me.."

"He didn't want to kill me. I shot him, Fitz, just to shut him up." said Jemma, more in control of her voice now.  "Now tell me what happened with Daisy."

"There's not much to tell. She threatened me and warned us to stay away." Fitz said, though Jemma could see on his face there was more to the story. "We need to figure out why they took Radcliffe. I feel responsible, we dragged him into this."

 _Of course Fitz would find an angle to blame himself_ , Jemma thought and put her hand reassuringly on his. She let it linger there even as Mack returned from the cockpit to call Coulson.


	2. Fusion (post-3x18, M)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz tries to sort through the chaos in his head on the way back from Bucharest. Mack chimes in. Post-ep 3x18 The Singularity.
> 
> Fitz POV. 
> 
> Warnings: Some references to sex/intimacy (including oral sex and penetration), but not very explicit.

The low, monotone hum of the airplane had lulled Jemma to sleep. Fitz listened to her even breaths as she rested her head in his lap. He stared out the window into the dark, starless night. Sleep evaded him as he was trying to untangle the chaotic events of the past days that flapped around in his brain like frightened birds trapped in a room.

Many different emotions made it difficult to think clearly, to organize his thoughts.  There was frustration, then guilt about dragging Dr Radcliffe into this mess and handing him right over to Hive to boot, worry about Jemma’s encounter with Hive, anger and powerlessness about his own run into Daisy and of course a profound happiness about what just took place between him and Jemma peppered with a great deal of apprehension about the future.

For the longest time, he thought his greatest fear was that Jemma would not love him back. But as Jemma made it crystal clear how she felt, Fitz realized that being loved back was equally terrifying. They had existed so long in the unique relationship they carved out for themselves since the Academy days, that any change was bound to be painful. It was of course his own damned confession on the bottom of the ocean that almost destroyed everything. They had to claw themselves back inch by inch to a place where they could co-exist again, but they both felt it wasn’t the same. Something had irrevocably changed that day.

Fitz still felt sick to the stomach about the long months of estrangement after his injury, the utter terror of losing her to the Obelisk, their mutual heartbreak about what happened on Maveth. He was starting to feel somewhat comfortable about how they were slowly starting to find their footing again, but Jemma clearly had other plans. He should have been overjoyed when he understood that she was ready to take the leap, but instead he just froze up. It felt like a moment of truth. That terrifying point in time when one has to test a carefully built hypothesis and see it confirmed or see years of work crumbled.   _What if they can’t handle a personal relationship – after all they both were more than a little bit awkward? What if the sex was going to be disappointing – he was anything but experienced when it came to that? How will he compare to Will?_ He really hated himself for that last thought.

There was nothing like a good friend nearly choking you to death to put things into perspective, he thought bitterly. After his encounter with Daisy, he was determined to meet his reckoning head on and stop waiting for a tomorrow that may never come. As he stepped into the hotel room, he shut his mind and let his body take over. It was after all basic biological need, something a monkey could do – _well, and he had carefully researched it_.

Over the years he learnt that Jemma had the power to elicit wildly different responses from him: on good days she calmed and centered him, on bad days, she unravelled him. Today was a good day. Her touch, her smile smoothed his jittery nerves. She gently guided him, but let him take control. Exploring every inch of her body with his fingers and lips was a surreal experience. He tried to catalogue every new freckle, memorize every sensitive zone while kissing his way from her collarbone to her toes. Her beautiful face bore a new expression he had never seen – eyes hazy with desire, her moans as he circled her clitoris with his tongue had a deep, husky tone he had never heard before, her familiar smell was laced with a new scent, stimulating with a barrage of sensations those parts of his brain where human thought merged into animal instinct.

He lingered long just revelling in the experience, but the nervousness started to return as he wondered what was the right moment to go rummaging for the condom he put in his bag just in case after their kissing the night before. Their psychic connection seemed to function seamlessly, as Jemma playfully bit his earlobe and whispered _“Don’t worry, I am on the pill.”  Of course, leave it to Jemma, she was absolutely unbeatable when it came to preparation._ He was curious just for a moment at what exact moment she had decided that they would sleep together – _clearly before he arrived at the same conclusion_ – but then quickly lost all coherent thought when she firmly grabbed his penis, paused for a moment to make sure he was ready, and when she got the answer in the form of a tiny nod, she guided it inside her. He had never experienced anything like the wet, hot, naked contact and for a moment he thought he’d burst. _Fusion._   _A reaction in which two or more atomic nuclei come close enough to form one or more different atomic nuclei and subatomic particles releasing large amounts of energy in the process. The comparison made sense, it was what powered stars._

He started to move carefully but instinct took over as his movements became faster and stronger. He closed his eyes, trying to think of other things so that he could prolong the moment. Through the haze he heard Jemma’s voice half chiding, half serious “ _Don’t hide from me, Fitz.”_ He opened his eyes for a moment and met hers, then shut them again quickly as finally release overwhelmed him.

Jemma playfully kissed his lips “The world didn’t end.” she said which was a strange thing to say, except Fitz understood what she meant. It was unnerving to finally to have sex after months – _who are you kidding, Fitz_ – years of sexual tension. But they got through it, like they always did, together. In retrospect, Fitz was wondering why on earth he had been so nervous in the first place.

“Tell me you were not reciting the periodic table in your head” Jemma whispered with laughter in her voice. Fitz felt his ears turning red, but scoffed nonchalantly “That’s utterly ridiculous. Of course not. Only a chemist would come up with something like that”. Then he added sheepishly “I was thinking about nuclear reaction cross sections”. They both started to giggle uncontrollably.

Then Jemma smiled at him warmly. “You were thinking about fusion. What a lovely thought and quite fitting, really”.  She laid her head on his chest and Fitz got overwhelmed with a feeling of profound happiness that this - the two of them together, without any barriers left and all entangled, limbs and thoughts - this was home.

 

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

The sound of heavy footsteps broke his reverie. Mack returned from the cockpit and plumped down on a seat across from him. He sighed and said: “I still can’t believe that Daisy did that to you. If she still has herself inside, she could fight it. She is one of the most stubborn people I know”.

Fitz didn’t really know how to reply: “I’m so sorry, Mack, that we are no closer to a cure. But Daisy, she is clearly under Hive’s influence. She is not herself, even though her memories are there. It’s difficult to explain.”

Mack nodded, though clearly unconvinced. “At least finally things seem to go well between the two of you” he said pointing with his chin in the direction where Fitz’s fingers absentmindedly caressed Jemma’s hair.

“Yes, well, I hope so at least. It is all very complicated.” Fitz swallowed.

Mack leaned forward: “You love her, Turbo and she loves you. From where I am sitting, there is nothing complicated about that.”

“Yeah, but with all that happened… with Will, with my…brain … thing” stuttered Fitz “it’s bound to get screwed up.”

“You have to put that behind you, buddy, all that belongs in the past. You just need to keep your eyes on the ball, and make it one play at a time.” Mack said.

“Again, with the American football analogies” grumbled Fitz.

“I’ll teach you to appreciate that game one day, man” said Mack and smiled. It was his first smile since the start of their mission.

“No way.” protested Fitz. “Football is meant to be played with your foot. It is a fundamental law of the universe, Mack. Cannot be messing with those.”

“I’m just happy for you. It’s a good thing.” Mack leaned back. “You deserve it.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.” Fitz said and when he said it, he realized what was the creeping feeling that kept him up. _Guilt. Hello, old friend_. “After all, we… , I, unleashed an alien zombie from an another planet on our world.”

“Fitz, that was not your fault. _You_ did everything you could to prevent it.” Mack said, making it clear with what was unsaid who he thought the blame belonged to. “We will save Daisy and we will figure out a way to deal with Hive. Perhaps you’ll have more useful ideas if you follow your girlfriend’s lead and sleep.” Then he got up and went to stretch out at the back of the plane.

Fitz leaned against the headrest and closed his eyes. _Girlfriend_ , it sounded strange, but certainly not bad strange. Just new. He could get used it. Though they haven’t really had this discussion with Jemma, but then again, it would be ridiculous to ask your best friend of a decade with whom you just had sex if she wants to be your girlfriend. He started to play scenarios in his head, but there was just no way to play this right. Some things are better left unsaid, he decided as he drifted off finally to sleep.

 


	3. Sublimation (Missing scenes, 3x19, M)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two tags for before and after episode 3.19. Jemma POV/ Fitz POV
> 
> Fitz and Jemma get back from Bucharest and are a bit nervous, so some awkwardness in the lab ensues - they also try to have sex on the base for the first time (and that has the potential to be a bit awkward)
> 
> Warning: Light smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sublimation:  
> (1) is a mature type of defense mechanism where socially unacceptable impulses or idealizations are unconsciously transformed into socially acceptable actions or behavior, possibly resulting in a long-term conversion of the initial impulse.  
> (2) is the phase transition of a substance directly from the solid to the gas phase without passing through the intermediate liquid phase
> 
> Takes place before and after episode 3.19

Jemma stared at her reflection in the mirror nervously. This has never happened before. She just changed her outfit for the fifth time this morning as if she were a nervous teenager getting ready for her first date, rather than an accomplished woman with 2 Ph.Ds. heading to work with her best friend. As she had done a few thousand times over in the past 10 years. _What was the big deal,_ she asked herself.

As if he hadn't seen her by now in every imaginable state; in her pyjamas, t-shirt and oversized home socks, sweating in training clothes, dirty and ragged after 6 months on an alien planet, and after the day before, even completely naked. And he never gave any indication that it mattered much to him. You look nice, he would occasionally compliment.

Still, after their hushed "see you at the lab" with fingers brushing subtly as they went their separate ways to shower and get dressed after getting back from Bucharest, Jemma wanted to look nice for him.

She settled on a white blouse ( _white suits you nicely_ , Jemma he had told her with a shy smile as they headed out for their disaster of a date after her return from Maveth) with her lacy undershirt peeking out, drawing attention to her neckline. She touched her collarbone lightly tracing it, as he had done yesterday. A touch that was so innocent and intimate at the same time, sending electric pulses around her body, making her nerve endings tingle with anticipation.

 _Focus, Jemma. Daisy needs you,_ she told her reflection in the mirror, as she put finishing touches on her makeup, opting for a bolder red lipstick instead of the nude, understated lip-gloss she usually wore. She took a last look in the mirror and headed to the lab with butterflies in her stomach.

She knew Fitz was worried that their lovemaking would somehow interfere with their working relationship, which up until now had been the most important thing in both their lives. While she put on a brave face, she had been in a state of apprehension, too. This could be the end of everything. _One step at a time_ , she reminded herself and stepped in the lab.

It was already bustling with life. Fitz sat at his work station, his back to the door, while a handful of the lab assistants were busying themselves in different areas. Jemma felt a pang of nostalgia for their tiny, cramped space on the Bus, which didn't have all these bells and whistles, and an army of underlings, but it had peace, privacy and it was a place just for the two of them.

"Good morning" she chirped as she entered and a couple of lab assistants murmured back a greeting.

Fitz turned around with a smile and let his gaze linger on her face and her outfit much longer than the sideway glances he usually allowed himself.

"Good morning, Simmons" he said finally in the most neutral voice he could muster, and he got up.

"We just got the lab results on the latest test you ran on the sample from the brain tissue." he said handing her a piece of paper.

As their hands brushed together, she felt heat rising and was grateful for the makeup. Their eyes met for a brief moment and she could see him mouth “Later” with a twinkle in his eye. He took a step back, increasing the distance between them and walked back to his workstation. He started typing on his keyboard, and the rhythmical tapping of his fingers helped Jemma to get in the zone. Things were fine; this was just another day at the lab. She let out a breath she was holding and focused her mind on the test results.

 

******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 

Fitz hesitated before knocking on her door. Back in the good days, at the Academy and on the Bus, he never hesitated. But things had been complicated for so long now that he did not know on any given day where he stood with Jemma. The day had been hectic with Lincoln nearly killing himself, Mack almost getting killed and they never really got a chance to discuss logistics. Then he chided himself for overthinking it. After all, she called him boyfriend earlier today. The territory must come with some perks and he desperately needed her closeness, a moment for just the two of them, he decided as he quietly tapped on the door.

The door flung open immediately revealing Jemma wearing the same sexy white blouse she had been sporting the whole day. She wordlessly motioned him in, and closed the door behind them turning the lock. This had to be a sign, thought Fitz, as Jemma’s door was hardly ever locked.  
“Today went rather well.” she smiled at him.

“You mean the part where Lincoln nearly killed himself, Mack almost got killed by Daisy, we are no closer to an anti-toxin and we had our first fight?” he asked sarcastically, but with teasing in his voice.

“It’s hardly our first” started Jemma. _“First as a couple…” interjected Fitz_ … “and I wouldn’t categorize it as a fight – more like a professional disagreement. And you know that’s not what I was talking about.” she finished.

“I know.” said Fitz. “It’s a relief that we can still work together. On the other hand, there’s nothing new in that. After all, we are just doing what we have done for years now; sublimating sexual tension into science.” then he caught himself. “Shit, did I just say that out loud?” _Stop digging, Fitz,_ he told himself as he nervously fidgeted with his hands waiting for the inevitable onset of teasing.

“Sublimating? Is that what you were doing, Fitz? The irresistible sight of me holding an Erlenmeyer flask… “ she giggled.

“Don’t forget the safety goggles, Jemma. You really know how to rock that particular look!” Fitz was game. It had been an awful day. They needed this, just a moment of levity wedged  between hurt friends and Armageddon.

She stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Shall we do that? Sublimate a little?” she whispered in his ears playfully and suddenly all the weariness left him.

He kissed her, first softly, then desperately like there was no tomorrow. And maybe there wasn’t. They tumbled together on the bed and this time Jemma moved on top. There was urgency in her gaze as she started to tear off his clothes. He pulled off her blouse revealing the lacy undershirt that kept tantalizing him all day. He sat up and started to slowly kiss and gently caress her neckline, but Jemma pushed him back down onto the sheet and said “I’m not going to break, Fitz.” He caught her meaning and responded with the same urgency, kissing, squeezing, playfully biting her skin until they were both naked.

Jemma slid on top of him and started to move with purpose. The feeling of being inside her and the view of her naked body moving, her hair twirling around her face felt like an onslaught of stimulation. They moved together faster and faster, but they both froze like deer caught in the headlight as the headboard of the bed started to bang with an unmistakable rhythmic thud against the wall. Fitz stretched his arms patting blindly around on the bed until he found a pillow. He stuffed it between the headboard and the wall. “This setup definitely needs some upgrade” he muttered as they resumed their rhythmic moving. His vision started to blur and he bit his lips to stifle his moans as his orgasm came in waves.

They laid in quiet embrace and Jemma grinned “I feel like a teenager trying not get caught in my parent’s house.”

Fitz nodded “Yes, this is not ideal. But what can you do on a base where we live on top of each other… I mean, there are no secrets here.”

“Do you want to keep us secret?” asked Jemma with a frown.

“Hell, no. I want to shout it from the rooftops.” grinned Fitz. “But…” “it doesn’t feel like the right moment.” she finished.

“Right. Especially since we, well I, started this nightmare.” he added, suddenly feeling very guilty.

“It’s not your fault, Fitz. But, well, undeniably, we both contributed to the situation.” Her voice now was serious. “I just wish I knew how to make it right.”

“We’ll figure out something, just need to sleep on it” murmured Fitz as he held her tighter. This is everything I ever wanted, he thought as he buried his face in Jemma’s hair and eyelids heavy.

Their slumber was interrupted by loud knocks on the door.

“Simmons!” It was Coulson’s voice. “

Yes?” she called out.

“Would you know where I can find Fitz?”

Fitz and Jemma exchanged a quick, embarrassed glance. “Uhhm..." she hesitated for a moment "yes…” her voice was comically high.

"He’s not responding to his phone and we have a situation.” Coulson yelled through the door.

They shuffled around the room in a bit of panic trying to find some pieces of suitable clothing. When Fitz managed to put on his pants and T-shirt and Jemma quickly pulled on her bathrobe, he opened the door.

“Yes, Sir?” he asked with an embarrassed look on his face, like the kid who got caught with his hands in the cookie jar. He could see Coulson giving him a look from head to toe, taking in his messy hair, state of undress and bare feet.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, Agent Fitz.” Coulson said in a serious voice, only his blue eyes betrayed his amusement. “I need you in the server room. Daisy is hacking the base.”

“Of course. I’ll be right there, sir.” Fitz replied with a sigh as Coulson turned around to leave. Then he called back “Agent Fitz, next time, maybe don’t forget your phone.”

Fitz cringed, then looked at Jemma and gave a little shrug. They both started to laugh nervously.

“Well, at least that took care of the problem of how to announce it.” said Jemma. “OK, go. I’ll catch up with you later.” she said with a quick kiss.

Fitz stopped quickly in his room to pick up the phone he had forgotten there earlier when he changed clothes and he headed off towards the server room. If it happened at a different time, he thought, if the old crew, Daisy, Hunter, Bobbi, and Tripp were around, there would be joking and teasing. But today, there was only the silence of the server room and another crisis to avert. He started working with a heavy heart.


	4. Three little words (post-3x22, G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bittersweet conversation that takes place after the events in episode 3.22. Jemma POV.
> 
> Jemma and Fitz reflect a bit on what just happened. Fitz says those three little words.
> 
>  
> 
> No smut at all. Suitable for all audiences, though a bit angsty.

Jemma stands under the steaming shower, soaking her skin as if the hot water could wash off the horrors of the past days which now just blur together into a frightening motion picture on an endless loop; the terror of seeing Fitz trapped in the hangar on the cusp of being turned into a Primitive, the rush of relief after saving him turning into a new panic as she was trying to hide from those creatures while not knowing where he was. Then there is Lincoln's death and Daisy's heart-breaking pain which echoes and magnifies her own mixed in with terrible guilt about the relief she feels that it wasn't them.

She opens the shower door to be greeted with a _rather welcome_ sight of Fitz sprawled on her bed in a grey T-shirt and dark pyjama bottoms looking intently at her robe-clad figure.

"I knocked, you didn't answer, but the door was open, so I figured I'd wait for you." he stops his rambling with a small shake of his head. "How is Daisy?" he asks quietly.

"She's asleep, I gave her a sedative." Jemma replies, though she knows that's not really what he was asking. She lies down next to him on the bed and stares at the ceiling. "I don't know how… I mean, when you were in coma, I sat there every day, just holding you hand. I felt so empty, so helpless, so scared, but there was hope. I don't know why, but part of me felt that it wasn't the end of the road for us yet, that we had unfinished things. Without that hope… " her voice is barely a whisper. They never talked about those dark days; it was too painful, too dangerous – a territory full of landmines. But she can't help it, the words just bubble to the surface. She has kept them inside for too long, and she wants him to know that she has always felt about him this way, even before she could name the feeling.

She feels his hand reaching out for hers, his thumb caressing the back of her hand in a soothing motion. His touch is so familiar, one of the few displays of intimacy he allowed himself during their long years of friendship. It is a touch that has got her through so many bad days, from minor disappointments, like ruined home works and horrible dates to major catastrophes like the one today. Fitz's thumb is her constant.

"I felt mostly rage and frustration." he breaks the silence. "I was a basket case, really." Fitz has never talked about what he had done to find her, but Jemma knows from the others. Perhaps not the whole story; but revealing fragments that let her form a picture of how far he would go for her. Bobbi told her about his reckless trip to Morocco, he heard from Daisy how they found him staring down the Monolith, screaming his pain and frustration into the universe, fists raw and bleeding. _Basket case is a generous understatement_ , she wants to say, but bites back the words.

"It could have been one of us today, Fitz" she says instead leaning her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat and not since the days of his coma has she been so grateful to hear this sound. _I will never take it for granted_. She knows without a doubt that he would have done the same as Lincoln, if it was a choice between her and him. Hell, he would have done it, if it was a choice between Daisy and him, because that's just who he is. Leo, who thinks he is a cowardly lion and does not realize after all how brave he is.

"I know… I was so worried about you. I wanted to get back to you on the base when we realized that we were being attacked, but you know May… she's scarier than Hive" he jokes. "And it was the right call after all, trying to get on the Zephyr."

"Still, she shouldn't have taken you. I mean technically, we still haven't passed our field assessments." she says angrily.

"You know, I saved the day." he says only half jokingly stroking her hair.

"In a spandex suit" she teases with a thin smile.

"No, I don't mean that. On the Zephyr, before you came, I shot Giyara. He snuck up on us, took out May and Daisy was still in the pod, and I took him out. It's strange, because, you know, I should feel horrible about it. Taking a life is serious business, no matter what and I don't think I could ever get used to it." and she knows, in the past, he agonized over each death he felt he was responsible for, even when he had no choice. "But this one, after what he did to you, it felt right."

Jemma doesn't know what to say so she just snuggles closer. _I am so grateful you are alive. I could have lost you. Again._ These are the words playing in her head silently, like a stuck record. She thought she cried all her tears for today, but the salty taste is back, her face is wet soaking his T-shirt. He lifts her chin to kiss away the tears. They look at each other, exhausted but profoundly happy to be alive, to be together.

"Let's sleep, I'm shattered." he sighs. He doesn't ask if he can stay, he doesn't have to. Jemma turns off the lights and snuggles up to him under the blanket.

She is almost asleep, when he pokes her forehead gently with his nose.

"I almost forgot, the reason I came to your room in the first place." he whispers. Half asleep already, she only manages a little "Hmm?"

"I realized, listening to Lincoln, that I have never said it either. And I know you know it, and it may be silly, and definitely insufficient to even begin to describe… " he's rambling again and in her state between consciousness and sleep she cannot follow really "but maybe, anyways, it's important to say it. So here it is." He takes a deep breath." I love you."

The three little words hang in the air, and of course she knows it, because he has shown her already a thousand ways, but still the words carry a weight. Even after all this time. Even after all they have been through.

"I love you too." she replies. And she knows, spoken between them out loud, it's an oath.


	5. Lichtenberg Figure (post-3x22, G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A spark of love frozen in time and a tearful conversation between Fitz and Daisy after 3.22. Fitz POV
> 
> Fitz/Daisy friendship
> 
> Warnings: No smut, references to Lincoln's death

It's been three days since their near-miss of Armageddon. They had a small memorial for Lincoln the day before, where they all cried and shared stories, except Daisy, who just sat, pale as a ghost, her always smiling, twinkling eyes frozen over with pain and emptiness. Fitz had been having a hard time with it – he understood her pain too well, after all, he had come dangerously close to losing Jemma on a number of occasions. He imagined all too vividly how she felt, and it made him sick to the stomach, struggling to breathe.

The eyes of the SHIELD agents infected with the primitive virus also haunted him. Talbot rounded them up to take them to a military facility in the hopes that they would find a cure. He knew many of them quite well, including O'Brien and his maintenance crew. He knew about their wives and children and felt responsible for their fate.

The base felt empty. Coulson was mostly locked inside his office, Daisy hardly left her room and did not talk to anyone, except a few words to Jemma, who checked up on her every day. Mack spent most of his time in the hospital with Yoyo, who seemed to be through the worst of it, but was still in a lot of pain. May was dealing with the loss in her own way of course; organizing the remaining agents into clean-up crews, tackling a new part of the base every day.

"Today is the day." Fitz told Jemma in the morning. They have spent the last three days mostly sleeping, crying, talking, making love and watching movies, hardly leaving her room. "Time to go back to the lab."

Jemma nodded and sighed, "Not looking forward to the clean-up, but it needs to be done. I'll message the crew."

"Yes, and I need to see what Radcliffe is up to. Talbot said he was our responsibility." Fitz added.

"I still think we should have let Talbot take him." Jemma grimaced. "I don't trust a guy who is willing to unleash a virus like that to save his own skin."

"Let's face it, Jemma. Not everyone has your strength or courage." he replied and he meant it. He had long admired how fearless and calm she was in the face of danger. "Anyways, I would never hand a fellow scientist over to General Talbot, no matter how questionable his past may be."

"That's true." smiled Jemma. "He is rather insufferable. OK, go then, I'll see you in the lab soon." They parted with a quick kiss.

***

 

As expected, the lab looked like a nightmare. The Primitives had knocked over computers, broke vials and containers. Shards of glass, scraps of paper, screws and wires mixed with biological samples covered the floor.

"Cleaning is not really my area of expertise..." quipped Radcliffe, but Fitz gave him a stern look, at which he just swallowed and finished meekly "but of course, I am happy to do whatever is needed."

As Fitz was on the floor sorting through the bits of debris, a piece of glass caught his eye. He carefully slipped it in his coat pocket. Later, when they broke for lunch, he said to Jemma "I'll catch up later with you. There is something I need to do." She looked at him inquisitively, but as he didn't volunteer any more information, she turned around and followed her colleagues to the canteen.

Fitz took the glass shard out of his pocket. It was about the size of his palm, shaped almost like a teardrop. He went to the garage and sanded carefully the edges. Then he headed over to Daisy's room and knocked.

"Yeah?" he heard from the inside.

He entered and found Daisy sitting on the floor. "Fitz. Do you need something?" she said, her voice hoarse and flat.

"I brought you something." he said, sitting next to her and handed her the teardrop shaped piece of glass. It was laced with an intricate pattern, thin as spider web, shaped like a tree.

"What is it?" asked Daisy keeping her gaze fixated on the object in her hand.

"It's called a Lichtenberg figure. It is a kind of imprint left on insulating materials by electrical discharge. Basically, it is lightning captured." he replied and studied her reaction carefully. She lifted her eyes wordlessly. Fitz continued gently "I found it in the lab, just this morning. You know, Lincoln, he really wanted to save you. And when Jemma and I were working on an antitoxin, he volunteered to test it out on himself. Jemma thought it was reckless, and we kind of had an argument, but basically Coulson forbade him. He did it anyways. That's how he fried up the lab."

Daisy looked at him with tears are streaming down her face.

Fitz continued, "He probably wouldn't want me to tell you this. But I just thought you might like to have it. It's literally a spark of his love for you."

"Thank you." Daisy whispered and started sobbing. Fitz wrapped her in his arms and they stayed like that for a few minutes. When her sobs subsided, she moved away, wiping her eyes.

"Why are you so nice to me? I almost killed you…" she asked defensively.

"Come on, Daisy, you know I would never blame you for that. Nobody blames you for any of it. It was not your fault, you were infected." he tried to soothe her gently. Then he added half-jokingly "Actually, you kind of quaked me out of a state of terrible indecision."

"Glad to be of service." she replied mirthlessly. Then she touched his hand. "I'm so happy for you guys."

"Jemma told you?" he asked.

"She didn't have to. Just the way you are next to each other, I can tell. I always knew you two would end up together, it was damn time, really. These days when everything is wrong, that's the one thing that feels right." Daisy said.

"Anyway, I have to get back to work. I just wanted you to know that I am so sorry for what happened, and that I feel your pain, and if there is anything at all, I can do…" Fitz stood up.

Daisy shook her head sadly. "You know, Lincoln was right. I need to work on myself first."

"Well, just know, we are here, whenever you are ready." he said smiling at her. "That's what friends are for."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lichtenberg figures are amazing and totally worth checking out http://www.capturedlightning.com/frames/interesting.html 
> 
> The conversation takes place after 3x22, but before Daisy leaves the base.


	6. The Hearing (post-S3, T)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a fluffy little piece in the lab / and Radcliffe's hearing. Jemma POV. Takes place between 3x22 and 4.01.
> 
> Just some kissing / sexy banter / touching in this one, no smut. A bit of humor and awkwardness.

Jemma found Fitz in the lab. It was late night, and she was expecting him to come to her room as – their new usual – but he didn’t show up. She checked his room, and then the next logical place – the lab. She stood in the doorway quietly, just revelling in the sight. After the pod, when he couldn’t string two coherent words together, even though she fervently hoped that he would get better, the doubt kept nagging at her. _What if he’ll stay like this forever? What if his brilliance was gone forever? Because of her?_

At that time she was so consumed by her guilt, her rage, the awkwardness that she didn’t really realize how he slowly, subtly transformed. From the chrysalis of hurt, loss and humiliation, he emerged both stronger and gentler. He lost some of the sharp edges, the boyish know-it-all competitiveness, the barely masked insecurity. His best friend of a decade has become a man, body and mind. And she was in love with this man, more than she could ever have been with the boy. As much as she had resisted, resented the change, in the end it was for the better. _And it didn’t help that he was also rather symmetrical, and attractive and he should have been in her room at least two hours ago. Whatever he was working on could wait until tomorrow,_ she decided _._

“What are you working on?” she stepped next to him.

He looked up surprised. “Is it late? Sorry, I guess I lost track of the time.”

“It’s almost midnight, Fitz.” Jemma replied. Then she leaned closer to him and whispered in his ears suggestively “And I was expecting you in my bunk for something more hands on…”

She enjoyed watching his ears turn red. As their relationship progressed they became more secure and less inhibited. She experienced a freedom to experiment that came from a place of complete trust. She enjoyed cajoling him, pushing him to try new things, which in turn gave him new, deliciously indecent ideas.

“Hold your horses, Simmons. I’ll just finish this one more …” he replied keeping his eyes fixed on his computer screen. Jemma not to shy away from a challenge, sat on his _pristine work surface,_ right next to his screen and crossed her legs. “Hey, what are you doing?”

“Come on, tell me you have never thought about it.” she said mischievously.

“What exactly are you insinuating?” she finally had his full attention.

“You and me. In the lab. All those nights we spent here. Tell me you never thought about…” her voice trailed off and she leaned closer to him, putting her lips tantalizingly close to his.

“Hmmm, I’m not sure I’m following. Would you mind being a bit more precise, Dr Simmons?” he asked playfully, moving towards her, their lips almost touching.

“About snogging in the middle of the lab, the whole world be damned?” she breathed.

“Just like this?” he wiggled an eyebrow before letting their lips finally meet in a passionate kiss. Jemma moaned with pleasure. When they broke apart, he continued in a low voice that drove her mad with desire, “I have to tell you, Simmons, you really need to get your mind out of the gutter. We are professionals after all, so I have definitely never thought about how it would feel to kiss you in the middle of the lab, or to push you over my work table, or to run my hands up your thigh, like so” he imitated the movements as he kept whispering “and I certainly never thought about stealing away to the supply closet in the middle of the day for a quickie.”

“Good” Jemma replied “because I definitely have never watched your hands working on something thinking what it would feel like if you slipped them inside my top…”

“Just to make sure there are no misunderstandings, you mean like this?” he was now standing in front of her and she wrapped her legs around him. His hand found its way under her bra, stroking her nipples in just the right way. He had always been a quick study; his newly acquired expertise grew into full-blown proficiency in a matter of weeks when it came to rubbing her the right way, _pun intended_.  Jemma arched her back…

… and at that point someone turned on the lights. They froze and looked towards the door to see who the intruder was. “Bloody hell!” all three of them yelled at once.

“What are you doing here?” Fitz’s tone came out quite harsh as they moved apart – _flushed, but thank heavens still fully clothed_ – Jemma thought.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know the lab was off limits for extracurricular activities after sundown. Maybe I will leave now and we’ll talk about the results tomorrow.” Dr Radcliffe said in a slightly amused tone.

“No, you might as well stay now.” Fitz replied, a hint of irritation lingered in his voice as he smoothed down his hair. “I already finished the simulations, and frankly some of these results are extraordinary.”

“Well, how about a drink then to calm the jitters?” Radcliffe said as he produced three glasses and a bottle whiskey from what seemed to be a secret stash and proceeded to pour three generous helpings of whisky. He raised his glass “To young love!”. Jemma felt her irritation and slight embarrassment turn into giddiness as the drink _– which was way stronger than anything she was used to, but no way in hell would she let the Scotsmen see her flinch –_ spread through her body.

She listened intently as they explained their latest idea – _quite brilliant, really_ – feeling a pang of jealousy at their easy rapport. She admonished herself, after all Fitz was not just her best friend, lover, boyfriend, but also part of their unbreakable scientific duo. It was ridiculous to think that Dr Radcliffe – who seemed to be genuinely fond of Fitz – could ever come between that bond.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Jemma tried her best to talk Fitz out of testifying, but he was determined. “We got him into this mess, Jemma. Everyone deserves a second chance.” So, she insisted going with him at least to the secret military panel Talbot organized which was to make a recommendation whether Dr Radcliffe would be charged officially in public.

Jemma sat in the back as Fitz took a seat at the front facing the military judge conducting the hearing.

“State your name please.”

“Dr Leopold James Fitz, your honour” he replied.

“How do you know the defendant?” the judge continued.

“SHIELD reached out to him in connection with a threat we were trying to eliminate. We believed Dr Radcliffe could be a key to find a cure.” Fitz replied.

“Dr Fitz, have you met him before this operation? I see you are both from Glasgow.” asked one of the panel member, who looked like an evil twin of General Talbot.

“No. I have never met him before that time.”

“Did Dr Radcliffe offer to help when you approached him?” the judge took back the questioning.

“Well, he got kidnapped by Hive’s people before we could finish the conversation. But it is my sincere belief that he would have come around to help us.” Jemma admired how sincere he sounded. Fitz was not a particularly good liar – _though not quite the horror show that she was –_ he must have believed at least to a degree what he said. Jemma had her doubts about Radcliffe.

“Isn’t it true that Dr Radcliffe developed the so-called primitive virus which led to the physical transformation and mental degradation of 38 individuals, including 28 agents?”

“Dr Radcliffe was forced to develop the formula, your Honour. And he has expressed his sincere regret in this matter and has worked tirelessly with the SHIELD science team to find a cure.”

“Which you still haven’t found” the other panel member injected.

“And we will continue working on it. I believe that Dr Radcliffe’s expertise is essential for this work.” Fitz replied, calmly though Jemma saw his hands nervously fidgeting under the table.

“Dr Fitz, would you, as a fellow scientist, in a similar situation have chosen to cooperate with such a clearly deplorable plan which could have led to the infection of a significant portion of humanity, whether your own life was threatened or not?”

“Your Honour, that is a hypothetical question, I have not walked in Dr Radcliffe’s shoes, and cannot tell you with any certainty what I would have done. I’d like to believe that I would not have developed the virus, even under threat. But I am an agent of SHIELD and as such, I was trained to face similar situations. I also swore an oath to protect, to be the shield of humankind. Dr Radcliffe is a civilian and was unprepared to deal with such a situation. It would be unjust to hold him to the same standard. Moreover, it is my belief that when he developed the virus, he was not in possession of all the relevant information to deduce the exact purpose or scale of Hive’s plan, nor was his action the only one that led to the threat in the first place. He is a convenient scapegoat, that’s all.” Fitz finished, now clearly riled up.

“Thank you, Dr Fitz. We have no more questions.” the judge finished.

They left the hearing together. Jemma grabbed his hand on the way out. “I had my doubts, but I have to say, you were great in there, Fitz.” she smiled at him.

“I just hope it works.” he sighed. “I was so nervous in there.”

“I could tell that they were impressed. You know, I think Daisy is not the only one who developed a superpower. Yours is empathy.”

“That is clearly not nearly as cool as quaking or teleporting or…” he didn’t finish and Jemma cursed herself as she guessed that he was thinking of Lincoln.

She quickly changed the subject. “Are you hungry?”

“You know me, I’m always hungry.”

“Why don’t we then take advantage of being in town and find us a nice little place for dinner. We have an unfinished conversation, after all, Dr Fitz.” she slid her hand down his back all the way to his bottom.

“Ahh, if it’s that kind of conversation we are having, Dr Simmons.” he said with faked indignation. “I believe we need a bit more privacy. How about skipping the restaurant and getting takeout instead?”


	7. Turbo and Turtle Man (post S3, G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mack and Fitz throw punches and talk girls - light and fluffy. Post 3-22, but before 4.01.
> 
> Suitable for all audiences, no smut.

 

While being a boyfriend came with some inconvenient obligations – like picking up your socks from your girlfriend’s impeccably clean floor and not being allowed to eat in bed - the perks outnumbered such drawbacks by far. And the greatest perk was waking up every morning next to the love of your life as far as Fitz was concerned. He loved the mornings; snuggling up tight to Jemma, looking at her beautiful face with her adorable messy hair, gently caressing her which on some days led to some brisk morning sex and on others just to more cuddles, it didn’t really matter. It was all glorious.

This day was, however, not one to rest idly he thought mournfully as he slipped out of the bed quietly, changed into training clothes and headed down to the gym. A while ago, before the Monolith took Jemma, _and yes his personal timeline was tied to Jemma_ , he swallowed his pride and asked Mack shyly if he would train with him. He hated hand-to-hand combat ( _Cadet Fitz, a baby squirrel could throw a more threatening punch than that, their exasperated field trainer would yell – but sir, what use is throwing punch in a lab, he would grumble – if only he had a crystal ball_ ), but he was getting sick of being knocked out, taken hostage and generally unable to defend himself ( _and Jemma_ ). He would have died of embarrassment asking anyone else, but Mack was his friend and he refrained _most of the time anyways_ from making fun of him.

His efforts were rewarded with a more defined muscle tone, _Jemma clearly appreciated that, she was big on symmetry,_ but his combat skills remained ruefully lacking. This morning was no different, and he cried out in frustration when Mack threw him across the training mat for the sixth time.

“This is bloody hopeless.” Fitz exclaimed.

“Come on Turbo, it’s a question of practice and muscle memory. You are improving” Mack pulled him up. “at an extremely slow pace.” he added smirking.

“I see where this is going. You are trying to get me worked up.” Fitz was frustrated, but charged at Mack.

“And it’s clearly working.” Mack said and sidestepped Fitz’s fist. “Come on, you can be faster than that.”

After their training session, they usually sat down for a coffee in the garage. “You are uncharacteristically quiet today, big man.” Fitz observed. “What’s going on?”

“Yoyo is coming out of the hospital today.” Mack sighed and stared into his coffee cup.

“Wait, that’s good news, isn’t it?” Fitz looked at him. “Why aren’t you happy?”

“She took a bullet for me, buddy. I mean that’s pretty extreme. How do you move forward from there?” Mack shook his head.

“Yeah, I agree, that is a rather grand opening gesture, difficult to outdo.” Fitz agreed rubbing his chin.

“Says the man who blindly jumped through a damned portal to a godforsaken alien planet.” Mack noted dryly.

“Well, that was a wee bit different, don’t you think?” asked Fitz. “Why don’t you ask her for dinner? I mean, if the bullet is any indication, she fancies you quite a bit.”

“Yes, and I do like her. I just don’t know if… She’s different, Turbo. Not a girl I could take lightly. On the other hand, I just don’t know her well enough.”

“To take her to dinner?” asked Fitz incredulously.

“How long did it take you to ask Simmons to dinner?” retorted Mack.

“Hey, that's a bit of a low blow, don't you think? We were… it was complicated. And in any case, it's not like we haven't had countless dinners together even before the date, thank you very much.” Fitz was now scratching his head, as Mack gave him a pointed look. “Fine, I get it, it’s not so simple. So, take things slowly, get to know her.”

“I don't know if slowly is going to go over well. You know she already calls me Turtle-man.” Mack sighed.

Fitz started to laugh and Mack gave him a menacing look. “And you are absolutely not allowed to tell that to anyone.”

“Come on, Mack. You know I have to tell it to Simmons at least. We have no secrets after all. She would put me in the doghouse for keeping something quite so delicious from her” grinned Fitz. _Oh, Jemma was a sucker for gossip – well they both were._

“You make me regret being your wingman this whole time, man.” Mack glanced at Fitz now. “I had so much faith in you, Turbo, even lost on the betting pool over it.”

“Wait, what betting pool?” Fitz was staring at him in disbelief.

“The one Hunter started on when you and Simmons would get together finally.” Mack was grinning now.

“He didn’t…It's a joke right? Hunter wouldn't…” Fitz felt his ears turning red.

“Oh, yes he would and he did. Come on you know it's true.”

“It does sound like Hunter" Fitz conceded. "I can’t believe we never knew about it, though. That is just so embarrassing” Fitz buried his head in his hand then looked up curious “So, tell me, who won then?”

“Of all people, May.”

“Really? Really? Of course, she did.”

“She just knows you guys too well.” Mack grinned. "She knew you would take your sweet damn time…"

“Apparently." Fitz shrugged. "So you’ll take YoYo then for dinner?”

“Stop it. Don’t you have a girlfriend to harass?” Mack grumbled.

“I do, I do.” Fitz turned to leave with a wide smile. _Can't wait to tell all this to Jemma_ “See you… Turtle-man…”

“Hey, don't you start. I’ll make you regret it, buddy. Next time we train, the kid gloves are off.” Mack yelled after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the very end of S2 / beginning of S3 it started to look like Fitz has slowly started to get better at hand-to-hand combat (I mean he almost lasted a whole minute against HiveWill, and managed to knock out Radcliffe's security. By the beginning of S4, he looks clearly much more comfortable fighting (think of the Miami episode).


	8. Protocols (post-S3, G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New director is coming to town and new protocols will apply. A much-needed discussion with Coulson about fraternization policy. 
> 
> No smut. General audiences.

Jemma was putting the finishing touches of her makeup on when she heard the tell-tale noise of furniture crashing and things falling on the floor. She sighed.

“Fitz, what is it this time?” she yelled out of the bathroom.

“Damnit, the socks I brought are not matching and forgot my phone charger.” Jemma managed to suppress a comment about his messy ways.  “This is becoming very inconvenient.” he grumbled. _Was this a hint that he wanted to move in together?_ As much as she loved him and adored waking up next to him most mornings, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to permanently share a space with him. On most days, his room looked like it was wrecked by a tornado.

“I have to run back to my room to pick up a couple of things. Again. I’ll see you in the lab.” he opened the door and came face to face with Agent May. His face turned bright pink instantly, Jemma noticed amused. Even after everyone on base put two and two together, Fitz remained uncomfortable with what he perceived as sneaking around.

May was not amused, however. Her inscrutable face looked even more serious than the baseline, if that was at all possible.

“May, what’s wrong?” Jemma asked alarmed.

“May’s tone of voice was serious “Coulson wants to see you.”

“What happened?” they asked in unison.

“Daisy left last night.” she replied.

“Daisy – what? Without saying goodbye?” Fitz looked hurt. He had been trying to get through to Daisy, and thought that they were making progress. One more thing he’s going to beat himself up about.

They entered Coulson’s office. The director was clearly in a foul mood; Jemma estimated about two days before he would show up in the lab asking for a new hand. “Sit down.” They took their seats on the sofa quietly.

“I wanted to talk to you, because I have decided to step down.” Coulson said.

“Are you leaving SHIELD, sir?” Fitz asked, clearly alarmed.

“No, I’m going to stay on. I have unfinished business. But the agency needs new leadership to rebuild and regain the trust of the public. We cannot stay in the shadows forever.” Coulson had a hard time meeting their eyes. “Look, what I want to say is that things will be different. There will be more rules and protocols in place. In fact, General Talbot is preparing them as we speak.”

“Oh, then they are sure to be sensible ones…” quipped Fitz sarcastically. _New protocols_ , Jemma thought, _I don’t like where this is headed_.

“Look, it has to be done. I have made some questionable choices…” he said “We all have, sir.” Fitz interrupted. “Nevertheless, this also affects the two of you. Technically, you are colleagues and under fraternization policy rules...” Coulson left the implications hanging with a pointed look.

“What do you mean exactly, sir?” Jemma asked. Alarm bells were ringing in her head. “They are going to spit us up. Fitz and I – they want to split us up?”

“I’ve made General Talbot aware of your, hmm, situation and yes, his first suggestion was to split you up. They are planning to build a new science facility, like a new Sandbox, and he thought one of you could take point on it.” Coulson looked at them.

“ _That’s insane_ …” They talked over each other. “ _We have many projects together_ …” Coulson held up his hand.

“Look, I explained it to the General in no uncertain terms that he will likely lose both of you if they decide to do that. Luckily, he knows your value to the agency, and is willing to make an exception. He agreed that you can formally request co-habitation.”

Jemma and Fitz looked at each other uncertainly and she detected just a hint of panic in his eyes. _He doesn’t want to, or does he? How can we have this conversation in front of Coulson and May? It’s like discussing sex with your parents, yuck.._

“Unless that’s not something you want…” Coulson sounded less sure now.

“No, I mean yes, we just…” Fitz stuttered and flapped his hands, a clear sign of distress. “We just haven’t talked about it, sir.” Jemma finished for him. “Where would we move, anyways?”

“You could get one of the larger rooms on base to start with. But eventually, you could move off base, once the SHIELD is legitimate again.” Coulson replied.

“Hmm, we…” they muttered.

“Well, I’ll be stepping down in three days. Why don’t you take the next two days off and think? The new arrangements could be difficult. And remember, this is your lives. You have gone above and beyond, and god knows you have taken more hits than what you have signed up for. And I’m sorry that I didn’t hold up my end of the bargain and protect you better. SHIELD needs you, of course, but remember, you don’t owe us anything anymore and it is also OK to walk away, if that’s what you want.” he said now warmly.

“But we never” “ _thought_ ” “we don’t” “ _leave our friends_ ” they looked at each other.

“Maybe you should think about it.” Coulson said again. “One more thing – I’ve signed your field assessment and cleared you for field duty. You have both become formidable agents. It has been an honour working with you.” May silently nodded his agreement.

“Thank you, sir.” Jemma felt a lump in her throat. It was the end of an era.

“Now go, get out. And we don’t want to see you back here until Thursday.” he said with mock seriousness. “It’s an order.”

“Yes, sir.” They both turned to leave. Fitz looked back from the doorway. “Can we borrow Lola?”

“Now, I may be stepping down, but I am still at my full mental capacity. So, no. Nobody touches Lola. Take a pool car, Fitz.” Coulson grinned.


	9. The Not-Seychelles Holiday (of sorts) (post-S3, M)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly pure fluff, light banter, a hint of angst and lots of smut (and I am about as comfortable writing smut as Fitz is talking about sex), but come on, what will a young couple end up doing in a cottage in the middle of nowhere on their first almost holiday since basically forever? Also, Jemma tries to get Fitz talk about sex.
> 
> Warning: Smut, Dirty talk, Oral sex.

 

“Well, it’s not the Seychelles, but it’s a holiday of sorts.” Fitz said nervously as they entered the little holiday cottage he found last minute online.

“This is perfect, Fitz.” Jemma smiled.

“Sea view, a comfy bed, a real bath and everything. Not bad on a moment’s notice, right?” he said relieved that she seemed to have approved of his choice. They needed the space and quiet to think about what Coulson told them. And a cottage in the middle of nowhere ( _even if not in Perthshire_ ) may give them the clarity they needed. 

“So where shall we start?” she said as they carried their bags in.

“How about the bed? We should test the stability, elasticity and resilience, to make sure, you know.” he suggested and wiggled an eyebrow at her suggestively. Jemma laughed. He couldn’t get enough of that smile.

“I like how your mind works.” she said wrapping her arms around his hips.

“I can show you how my other parts work…” he whispered in her ear and nibbled gently her earlobes, which he found out to his delight only a few days before made her squeak with pleasure.

“I seem to remember you have showed it to me repeatedly the past couple of weeks.” her hands were now squeezing his butt, and he felt desire burning through his whole body.

“Well, we both know, reliable conclusions require a significant sample size.” he replied, sliding his hand under her blouse.

“Then stop talking.” she silenced him with a kiss and pulled him on the bed. As they made love, he registered in the back of his mind that her moans were louder than back in the base, as she reached her orgasm. It was the sexiest sound he has heard in his life. _Maybe if we move in together, it could be like this. Leisurely sex with no need to hurry and no fear of interruption._  He still couldn’t believe how prim and proper Dr Jemma Simmons was so free in her sexuality and thanked his lucky stars every day to be able to be a part of this.

After their lovemaking, he drew a bath. He lit the candles that he brought, and filled two wineglasses with red wine.

“Oh, I can’t remember the last time I had a proper bath, with bubbles and all …” she sighed contently as they relaxed in the hot, fragrant water sipping their drinks. “I love it.”

“I told you, I was the romantic one…” Fitz kissed her neck.

“Do you think this is how normal life could look like?” Jemma asked, her voice trembling with an emotion he couldn’t quite place.

“You mean outside SHIELD?” Clearly, what Coulson told them had hit a nerve with both of them. Frankly, he thought about it, leaving it all behind – _he could propose to Jemma, they could get married, settle in cottage somewhere, have kids_. She deserved it, all of it. But it was something down the line.

“SHIELD has been our lives since we were sixteen. Think about it, almost half of our entire lives. I don’t remember anymore, Fitz, what normal looks like. Do you think we could do normal?” Fitz didn’t need to see her face to know that she was furrowing her brows in her signature Jemma-like way.

“I think normal is way overrated.  Also, I’m pretty sure you would die of boredom if you had nothing to dissect or no alien viruses to figure out.” he said lightly.

“There is science in other places than SHIELD.” she said, though didn’t sound convinced.

Fitz stared into the candle light. “Sure. But you know our friends need us. Coulson and May, Mack and Daisy, they are our family and things are falling apart. ..”

“…it doesn’t feel right to walk away.” Jemma sighed. “Maybe staying is the right thing to do, it’s our turn to protect them.”

Fitz caressed gently her collarbone. “So it’s settled, we are staying then.” he concluded.

She nodded her agreement. “What about the other thing?” she asked hesitantly.

“Moving in together? I have thought about it, after all it’s the next logical step.” he said cautiously biting his lip. In truth, he was a bit torn.

“I hear a big but coming.” she sounded annoyed.

“I don’t know Jemma. What if we don’t like it? We have both had our own space for so long, and things are going so well now between us. I’m just a bit worried, about… mucking it all up.” he struggled to explain. “… On the upside, my socks would be all in one place.”

“You mean, covering my floor.” Jemma rolled her eyed.

“It would technically be _our_ floor, and yes, that is just one example of possible friction.“ he conceded.

“That I’m too tidy?”

“No, tidy I can understand. You are a neat freak. A beautiful, irresistible one, but a neat freak nonetheless.” he gave a little kiss on her nose to soften the blow.

“While you are a slob.” she retorted.

“You forgot to say _irresistible_. And no, not a slob, I like to call it controlled chaos.” Fitz grinned.

“Couldn’t we figure it out though? We managed it in the lab after all.”

 “Yes, but we both know only because I agreed to adhere to your ridiculous rules.” he teased “ _sensible_ rules” she corrected him.  

“Let’s just say, I see the potential for failure. But cannot deny it that there are many, many upsides.” he smiled warmly at her. “And I think I’d like to try it. If I can bring my monkeys. And get to choose the tech.”

“Good, I’d like to try it too.” she said and leaned in to kiss him. “Now that we have decided everything on the first night, what are we going to do for two days?”

“I may have a couple of ideas up my sleeves.” he smiled at her.

“I’m counting on it.”

++++

Jemma woke to find the spot in bed next to her empty. She was annoyed for a moment, then she heard dishes clanging and Fitz softly cursing. She got up and found Fitz padding around the kitchen – he was apparently preparing breakfast.

“Hey.” she smiled at him.

“Oh, hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” Fitz kissed her.

“Smells good.” Jemma became aware of the light rumbling in her stomach.

“I have bacon, and pancakes with strawberries and cream. And tea.” he grinned. “And that horrible zero-fat, lactose-free yoghurt you like to eat.”

“I remember the first time you made me strawberries and cream pancakes.” she looked at him smiling at the memory.

“After you broke up with what-was-his-name hunk-of-meat and you showed up in my room in the middle of the night, more than a little bit tipsy.” Fitz apparently remembered too.

“I don’t even remember showing up, but I know it was the worst hangover of my life.” she laughed. “I was so nauseous and you made me pancakes and bacon and strawberries and cream.”

“I just wanted to make you feel better, because your boyfriend was a twat and you clearly deserved much better.” he shrugged.

“You know what I remember? You had this little bit cream stuck on the corner of your mouth.” she said, dipping her fingers in the cream and lightly brushing it on his lip “right here ….and I was thinking how much I wanted to lick it off.” she slowly licked the corner of his mouth “just like this.” she said with a naughty smile causing his eyes turn big as saucers for a moment.

“And there I was thinking you were sad because of your break-up.” he said lightly once he caught his breath.

“Nah, you were right, he was a twat.” she stepped closer to Fitz. “You know what else I was thinking?”

“Tell me.” he breathed leaning over to her, pushing her towards the kitchen counter with his body.

“If you would have been outraged if I kissed you.” she provocatively sat on the kitchen counter. His fingers were now fumbling with belt of her robe.

“Definitely not outraged. Maybe a bit panicked. And definitely, incredibly turned on. Seventeen-year-old raging hormones turned on. I probably would have made a complete fool out of myself.”

“That would have been a sight to see.” Jemma laughed.

“Twenty-eight-year old raging hormones are much more dignified. But I’m still incredibly turned on.” he whispered and deepened their kiss as he slid the bathrobe off of her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and felt his erection pushing towards her stomach. She felt very wet, so pushed down his sweatpants, grabbed his penis without hesitation and guided it to her entrance. He pushed inside and they both gasped at the sensation. She closed her eyes, as he started to move, the memories flooding her, of his curls, his ocean blue eyes looking at her with so much concern, his awkward smile when he announced that breakfast was ready.

+++++++

 

The beach was quite a bit windy swirling Jemma’s hair. Fitz wrapped her in his arms trying to keep warm.

“Maybe strolling on the beach was not the best idea. This place does remind me of Perthshire though. It's bloody freezing.” he noted shivering. She looked so lovely with pink cheeks and messy hair, he tried to smooth out a strand that had fallen over her face. “It’s getting long again.”

“You didn’t like it short?” she asked.

“It’s not that. It just reminds me of…before.” he was suddenly transported back to a dark period when he thought he lost at the same time his mind and his best friend forever, where they barely talked to each other and did not know how to be even in the same room. Jemma wrapped her arms around him and he felt her hot breath on his neck. They had come so far since those days, but he was still dreading sometimes that he would say or do something and they would end up there again. He held onto her tight, breathing her in, trying to calm himself. _Snap out of it,_ he scolded himself.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to spoil the mood.” he said.

“Don’t apologize. I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. Anything.” she emphasized. “I want to know when there is something bothering you.”

“OK.” he nodded. “It’s OK, really, it’s behind us now.”

“Is it though? Maybe…we still need to talk about it. I didn’t know how to tell you at the time... but I still want to tell you that I didn’t leave because I gave up on you, but because that was the only thing I could think of to do to help you get better... I was so lost and feeling so useless, and didn’t know what else to do.”

“I know, now. I didn’t then. I just… I’m sorry that I was so angry all the time and took it out on you. You didn’t deserve any of that.” he felt relieved that he finally admitted it aloud.

She nodded. “And I am sorry that my leaving hurt you. That was never my intention.” Jemma put her hand on his heart and suddenly a feeling of calm wrapped around him. He took her hand and kissed her palm. He thought for a moment if he should tell her about his hallucinations of her, but didn’t know how without sounding like a lunatic.

“Come on, let’s get back inside to warm up.”

“Make hot chocolate?” she asked.

“Now you are talking…”

++++++++++++

“We haven’t done this in a long time. Why did we ever stop?” Jemma sighed as they sat curled up on the sofa watching a movie on a little laptop. She was resting her head in Fitz’s lap and felt the drowsiness wash over her.

“We haven’t really head much time between your interstellar adventure, the monster parasite attack and having to save the world.” came the flippant reply.

“It was a rhetorical question.” she observed.

“I know.” he said.

“Why didn’t you ever try to ask me out?” she asked. Silence. “Fitz, did you hear me?”

“I heard you. I thought it was another rhetorical question.” he pretended to be completely engrossed in the movie. Jemma lost the plot about half an hour ago.

“I won’t let you off so easy.” she kept needling.

“I know you won’t.” he sighed. “Fine, I just never seemed like your type. And I was not going to be the creepy nerd friend cliché.” he said.

“What do you mean my type? I really didn’t…” Jemma started. “oh, so it was pure coincidence you fawning over symmetrical, well defined specimen.” Fitz talked over her sarcastically waving his hands for added emphasis “….and by the way you were never a cliché.”

“Even so, I didn’t like my chances considering all the possible downsides.” he shrugged.

“So you considered it?” Jemma pushed on.

“It may have crossed my mind, but I certainly wasn’t obsessing like you are right now.” he replied. “What is this about, Jemma?”

“I just – I want to know if you ever thought about me the way I thought about you.” she looked at him.

“I’m not sure I’m following.” Fitz squirmed a little.

“Fine. Have you ever fantasized about me in a sexual way?” he could see his ears turning red.

Fitz swallowed. “If I plead the fifth on that one can we finish watching the movie?”

“I told you mine, why don’t you tell me one of yours?” she said suggestively, and slowly slid her hand further up between his thighs.

“I’d rather not.” he shifted uncomfortably.

“Why?” Jemma put her hand on his thigh.

“I just can’t talk about it the way you can.” 

“You could try. Tell me if you were thinking about something when we used to curl up on the sofa like this together.”  She slowly unbuckled his belt “Did I do anything like this?” Silence. “Fitz?”

“Yeah.” his voice was at least an octave lower than usual.

“Good.” she continued to pull down his zip. “and then did I do this?”

“At least in some of the scenarios.” his breath sped up. She slowly started to stroke his erection. “Tell me, did you imagine me take it in my mouth?”

“Uhm.” He groaned.

“I can’t hear you.” she said, her mouth lingering just an inch away from the tip of his penis, her breath hot against him.

“Yes!” he yelped clearly frustrated. Jemma grinned. Now they were getting somewhere.

“So just like this?” she slowly licked the tip with her tongue, like an ice cream cone.   “So would I do something else?” she looked up at him. Fitz sat motionless staring into space.

“You… would… take the whole thing in your mouth.” he stuttered.

“Of course I would”, she chirped enthusiastically, and started moving her mouth up and down while moving her hand on the base. She established a rhythm and kept it until she felt all his muscles tense as he approached his climax. He came with a loud moan. She felt him pulsate against her hand and mouth.  She kept holding him tight.

“You see, that wasn’t too hard, was it?” she smiled at him as she got up to wash her hands and mouth. She came back and sat in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He kissed her softly and sighed. “That was… you are amazing. – So what was that about?” 

“I noticed that you are always trying to please me and make me feel good” “which makes me feel good…”  he interjected, “sure, but I want you to know that I also enjoy doing what you would like and since I’m not a mind-reader…” she continued ”Come on, Jemma, I am an open book to you..” he grinned “Fitz, it’s ok to tell me what you want and how you want it. I want us to be able to talk freely.” she finished.

“I am working on it.” he nodded.

“I noticed it. Consider this as positive reinforcement.” she giggled.

“I have to say, progress will be exponential with this kind of incentive.” he grinned.

“I certainly hope so. Now, you want to finish the movie?”

“Movie, what movie?… Let’s go to bed, I have another idea...”


	10. Home (post-S3, G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a small tag on moving in together. A bit angstier than originally planned.
> 
> Warning: No smut in this one. But there are references to Will/Jemma.

“I think it’s straight now.” she said eyeballing the picture.

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s still crooked.” he replied, checking it with level built into his phone. “You see? I’m right.”

“It’s like 3 degrees, that hardly counts. Engineers and their obsessive need for everything to be straight and square.” she grumbled as he readjusted the picture for the fifth time.

“I wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise.” he smiled as he climbed off of the chair, finally satisfied with the angles and symmetry “and would keep you up with my tossing and turning as I was thinking about those 3 degrees. It can be the difference between life or death.”

“That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think? It’s a picture, not a precision instrument.” she rolled her eyes.

After a day of packing, unpacking and lugging around furniture, Jemma was exhausted but looked around their new room satisfied.  It was not much bigger than their tiny bunks, but at least it had a proper double bed. They managed to find a space for their dressers, their books and other belongings. They had a brief argument about which of the double items to keep ( _her kettle – it was newer, his alarm clock, because it had better features, he also bought a new charging station for all their devices and insisted getting rid of the old ones_ ). She covered the bed with a patchwork cover that she got from her grandmother when she was just a young girl _(Jemma, my dear, I made it for you when you’ll have a home of your own)_ and never really used before. In the warm glow of his desk lamp, the space really started to look like a home.

“It’s nice.” Fitz said, squeezing her hand. “Maybe we are still missing a TV screen.”

“Come on, where would we put it?” she asked.

“Up on that wall.” he pointed to the empty space opposite from the bed.

“Why, what’s wrong with watching movies on your laptop?” she asked.

“That’s what single people do. Couples in their nice homes get to have a proper TV.” he smiled cheekily. “So shall we celebrate now? After all I’ve never moved in with someone before!” he wiggled his eyebrow suggestively.

Jemma was about to say _me neither_ , when suddenly a picture of the little underground cave on the distant planet invaded her mind. Memories she locked away weeks ago suddenly came flooding her with immense guilt about being happy, about being alive. She looked towards Fitz, and saw his happy smile change into an apprehensive look and then to concern. He always wore his emotions out in the open, so she was pretty sure he figured out what she was thinking about. Daisy often joked about their psychic link, but at times she wished she could shield him better from her pain. He got up from the bed, walked over to her and wrapped her in his arms.

“I’m sorry.” she said.

“It’s OK, Jemma. You don’t have to apologize for your feelings. It’s OK to feel bad or sad sometimes. I’m sure you will see much more of my moods from now on.” he replied.

“I want this to be a happy day.” Jemma was kicking herself mentally for spoiling the mood.

“I’m happy that I get to be here for you.” he looked her in the eye. “Didn’t we have a big conversation the other day about being honest, Jemma? You don’t have to try to hide things from me Jemma for fear of hurting me. I’m stronger than you think.”

“It’s not that. I know exactly how strong you are. I just feel it’s not fair. I already put you through enough because of him.” she couldn’t meet his eyes.

Fitz tipped up her chin and kept holding her gaze “You can say his name.”

“Because of Will.” she whispered with a tear in her eye. He didn’t flinch.

“It’s OK to mourn, Jemma.” he said. “If you don’t let yourself process, it’ll stay with us longer. He was a nice guy, you loved him, he saved your life and I would never begrudge you for any of it.”

“Thank you.” she let him hold her in silence for a while. She let the pain and guilt wash over her and then ebb. She took a deep breath and untangled herself from his hug.

“You know, I feel incredibly lucky to get to live with my wonderful, charming, perfect boyfriend.” she smiled at him. “And I even have some champagne on ice to celebrate it.”

“Well, bring it on then, roomie” he replied.


	11. New Arrangements (pre-4x01, G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FitzSimmons meet the new boss. Jemma warns Fitz to play nice, but he just cannot contain his sarcasm. Fitz has to sit through a lie detector, and Jemma gets an offer she's not sure whether she should accept. Jemma POV/ Fitz Pov
> 
> No smut.

 

“Dammit” she heard as she emerged from the bathroom. She found Fitz frowning in front of the mirror with an untied tie hanging around his neck, like a limp snake. She stepped behind him and put a hand on his shoulders.

“Can I help you with that?” she asked smiling in the mirror encouragingly.

“It’s just one of those things I cannot figure out anymore.” he sighed. “Anyway, why should I get all pimped up for this guy. Who is he?” he bounced nervously on his feet.

“He’s our new boss, for better or worse, so play nice.” she said calmly, as she reached around his shoulders and tied the tie. “There, all good.”

He grabbed her hand and placed a kiss on her palm. “Thanks. I’m still such a klutz.”

“Your recovery is nothing short of amazing, Fitz.” she replied softly.

“I couldn’t have done it without you, I hope you know that.” his words filled her heart with warmth. Those months when their relationship hit rock bottom still weighed heavily on Jemma, really on both of them. But they were now in a good place and neither of them had a lot of appetite dragging out and analysing the past. Reconciliation came in little fragments, like this.

“Promise me that you are going to behave in there?” his eyebrows shot together at her question.

“When do I not behave?”

“Just lay down the sarcasm and we’ll be fine. After all, we need this guy on our side.” she replied.

“A wee little sarcasm though is OK, no? I still cannot believe Coulson stepped down. I really don’t like all this change.” Fitz sighed as they headed out to meet the new director.

++++++++++++

Fitz squeezed Jemma’s hand before entering the office. It was completely redecorated in cold, utilitarian style. Gone were the quirky little collectibles of Coulson, replaced by the brutalist charm of a military barrack. Fitz spotted General Talbot in the corner, as the new guy walked towards them. Tall, handsome in an all-American square-jaw sort of way. Fitz felt an immediate dislike.

They shook hands tensely, as the guy introduced himself as Jeffrey Mace.

“Please take a seat, agents. Water?” he offered. “I’m pleased to meet you. Both Agent Coulson and General Talbot spoke very highly of you two. I hope that we can work together smoothly. Clearly, you have an important role to play to rebuild the Agency.”

“Thank you, sir. We are of course, ready to our best for SHIELD.” Jemma smiled amiably, while Fitz just glared at him, fidgeting uncomfortably with his plastic water bottle.

“That’s great, Agent Simmons. I am a team player and I highly appreciate colleagues with the right attitude. After all, a team that trusts, is a team that triumphs. Which is why after we have finished here, I will need both of you to undergo lie detection.”

“Excuse us?” Fitz asked incredulously. The nerve of this guy, waltzing in here, telling them they are not trustworthy “we have been in SHIELD for more than a decade and you need lie detection to trust _us_? How do we even know we can trust _you_?” he didn’t manage to keep the anger of his voice and felt Jemma lightly kicking him under the table.

“Hold your horses now, son.” General Talbot interrupted. “Director Mace was chosen by the President himself. SHIELD cannot be run like your local amateur theatre anymore. We need to reinstate protocols, accountability and some order, before this agency can regain the trust of the public. We let you build your toys, but you let us handle strategy and organization.” Talbot was getting loud now wagging a finger at Fitz. _Not toys, high-tech equipment_ , he thought but swallowed the comment. He promised Jemma he would behave after all.

“General Talbot” Mace spoke in a pacifying tone “Agent Fitz has legitimate questions here and he has earned the right of asking them. Of course, we are not questioning your dedication or your service, but new protocols will be in place and we cannot make exceptions. I am certain that you have nothing to hide and indeed the test will be just a formality.” he smiled pleasantly. “But before we do that, could we clarify a couple of things which were not entirely clear to me from the written reports?” he opened a personnel file. “Tell me, which of you is currently the head of the science division?”

Fitz and Simmons looked at each other in a confusion. “Well, we…” “I’m not sure…” “You were head when I went to the garage…” “but then I got sucked in by the monolith…” they talked over each other.

“Can we take turns talking, please?” Mace asked.

“We work as a team, sir.” said Jemma finally. Fitz nodded.

“But who gets to say the final word? It’s important for accountability to have clear rules…” the new director insisted.

“We have been working together for a long time now. We agree on things, and in the very rare cases where we couldn’t agree, _Director Coulson_ would decide.” Fitz clarified.

“But who gives instructions to the lab personnel? Who orders materials? Who signs off on inventories?”

“We both do.” they said at the same time.

“I understand that you have a history together, but I already see some things that will need to change. We need clear division of tasks, responsibilities and accountability. Especially as I understand your… well…personal relationship.” Mace said, emphasizing the last words.

They glared back at him. “I can assure you, sir, our personal relationship does not interfere with our work relationship.” Jemma said finally, resolutely.

“I think we can agree that you are both foremost agents and professionals, so you will understand that due to the incredibly valuable, but potentially sensitive work you are doing, we will need to build some safeguards in. Unless one of you accepts to be reassigned to the building of the new Sandbox, which I still think could be a cleaner way of handling this issue.” he looked at them pointedly.

“We prefer to stay in HQ, sir. We can handle it.” Fitz said nervously.

“I will allow it on a trial basis, provided you both pass your lie detection test.” Mace decided.

“One more thing.” Talbot pulled out a paper from his file and handed it over to Fitz. “Thanks mostly to your intervention, that sneaky weasel Dr Radcliffe received a pardon. He cannot leave though the area and will have to be under supervision. Since you are the reason he is not locked away like he should be, he is your responsibility, Agent Fitz. Congratulations, you got yourself a pet snake.”

“I’d much prefer a monkey.” Fitz said sarcastically and saw Jemma rolling her eyes.

“Well, if we are agreed, Agent Fitz, Agent Nathanson here will escort you to the lie detection test.

+++++++

 

Fitz tapped his fingers nervously as he flashed back into the time when he was first strapped into a lie detector, in Fury’s secret base just after SHIELD fell a lifetime ago.

A new agent whose name he didn’t care to remember set up the machine and started questioning, with the familiar baseline questions (name, age, family). Fitz waited impatiently for the ordeal to be over.

“Have you ever worked for Hydra?” he asked.

“No.” Fitz replied.

“Did Hydra ever try to recruit you?”

“Does <at gunpoint> count?” he asked back sarcastically.

“Please just answer the question, Agent Fitz.” the interrogator was not amused.

“It’s Dr Fitz, and yes, Hydra did offer to recruit me at gunpoint.” he replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Have you thought about accepting it?”

“No, of course not.” Fitz was getting riled up.

“Try to keep calm, Dr Fitz. If you get agitated, we will have to repeat the process at another time when your results are not compromised.” the agent continued impassively.

“I wouldn’t want to waste your precious time” Fitz muttered.

“Good, then let's continue. According to your files, you have been injured in line of duty. You were in a coma and had a long recovery. However, we did not find any psychiatric evaluation on your reintegration. Has anyone signed an evaluation report on your state of mind?” the agent’s tone was robotic, matter-of-fact.

Fitz was first shocked by the question then tried to remember. He went on a field mission with Coulson, but then things went downhill so fast – he remembered talking to Dr Garner at one point during the time Jemma was sucked into the Monolith. He was not sure really.

“I don’t know. Obviously, Director Coulson approved personally when I went back to the field.” he finally said.

“But you admit not having detailed psychiatric evaluation before reintegration?”

“What are you getting at?” Fitz felt his temper rising again. What right had this no-name new guy poke into his life? Especially into parts of his life he was trying to put behind him.

“Have you ever suffered delusions during or after your recovery?”

“What do you mean?” Fitz was taken aback by the question.

“Hallucinations?”

Alarm bells started to ring out in Fitz’s head. He felt his palm getting sweaty and his heartbeat fastening. “Isn’t this confidential medical information?” he asked finally.

“Please respond to the question, Agent.”

“Yes.” Fitz admitted quietly.

“Do you currently experience these hallucinations?”

“No.” he was relieved that he didn’t ask any more specifics about the nature of his hallucinations. It was too private, too personal. He hadn’t even managed to tell Jemma about it yet. It would have felt out of place in an official report.

“Do you have any remaining issues from this injury that could adversely affect the performance of your duties in any way?” the agent asked.

“Are you asking if I am crazy?” Fitz asked.

“Just answer the question please.”

“Fine. No, I don’t have any issues” he raised his fingers to form quotation marks in the air.

“Take a deep breath, Agent Fitz and give the answer again, please.”

Fitz looked the agent in the eye. “No.” he said in the most even voice he could muster.

“So the off-the-book field trips during Agent Simmons’ disappearance were not attributable to your brain condition?” Now Fitz started to see where this was heading.

“First of all, they were not field trips, but part of my investigation, and second, they were directly attributable to _Dr_ Simmons’ disappearance. Moreover, I was right, and they were integral to finding Dr Simmons.” Fitz was getting to the end of his rope.

“Was this investigation against Director Coulson’s orders?”

“No, Director Coulson authorized the overall investigation and gave me wide berth on how to conduct it.” Fitz forced himself to keep calm.

“Dr Fitz, do you think Director Coulson’s actions led directly to the threat of Hive?”

“Mostly Hydra’s actions led to the threat of Hive. Of course, in our way we all contributed, but it was Hydra that reopened the portal in search of the alien god.” Fitz replied.

“And you volunteered to help Hydra to find this inhuman.”

“Coerced. But yes, I agreed to save Agent Simmons.” Fitz retorted.

“Yes, this seems to be the pattern with you. Do you think you can be objective when it comes to Agent Simmons?”

 _It’s a trap, it’s a trap. They’ll split us up._ Fitz was thinking in panic how to answer. “Obviously, she is my partner, and we have been friends for a very long time. However, no matter the circumstances, I have always tried to perform my duties as an agent to the best of my abilities.” _And it’s my own damn business who I risk my life for_ , he added in his head.

Finally, the agent nodded. “Thank you, Dr Fitz for your patience. That’s all for today.”

“Next time why don’t you offer trial by fire? It’s more fitting for a witch hunt. And probably pleasant compared to this questioning.” Fitz quipped as he tore all the wires off and marched out of the office.

Jemma was waiting outside on a bench. She stepped closer.

“How did it go? I hope you kept your cool in there.” Fitz saw the worry in her eyes.

He grimaced. “I may have dialled up the sarcasm a little bit too much. But the guy was insufferable.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Jemma let out a breath when finally, the lie detection was over. She disliked being prodded and poked like this, but she was proud of herself that she managed to remain calm and matter-of-fact as they rehashed her undercover assignment with Hydra ( _No, I did not give out any confidential information on SHIELD to Hydra_ ) and the whole Maveth episode ( _Yes, Agent Fitz and Director Coulson both acted in accordance with their best appreciation of the particular circumstances of the mission_ ).

“Director Mace wants to see you again.” the agent informed her.

Jemma headed back to Mace’s office. Talbot was gone. Mace offered her a seat.

“Agent Simmons, I wanted to talk to you alone.” he smiled at her.

“What is this about?” she asked alarmed.

“We have analysed your files, and test results. I wanted to talk to you frankly, because we can see that you are not only a dedicated agent, a brilliant scientist, but also a pragmatic person. Look, I greatly respect Agent Coulson and your tight-knit crew, but it seems to me, it all operated based on personal attachments. This made sense for a secret organization, but it doesn’t make sense anymore. We need to rebuild with all transparency and that means introducing and enforcing rules.” Mace said looking at her with a politician smile.

“I understand, sir.” Simmons said.

“Good, I knew you would.” Mace nodded. “But to do that, I need allies here. Someone that people look up to, who was part of Coulson’s circle. You fit the bill.”

“What are you exactly asking, sir?” Jemma asked suspiciously.

“I am of course not asking you to do anything that would harm your friends, but I would expect you to advise me – to make sure that the science division is run in a sound way, that new protocols are applied and respected.” he said with a smile.

“Are you asking me to spy on my friends?” Jemma stared directly into Mace’s eyes.

He smiled pleasantly. “Of course not, you make it sound so sinister. We are all on the same team. But I am new here and I will need your advice. And since there will be changes, maybe your friends will need someone to help them with the new rules. You could be a liaison between the old way and new way of doing things.”

“Why me?” Jemma was genuinely puzzled.

“Well, like I said, you are pragmatic. You have never placed your loyalty to people above your loyalty to SHIELD. I think you are the right person for this.”

“Where would that we put me in terms of hierarchy?” Jemma asked cautiously.

“There will be a new system instead of levels. A spectrum of colours, so nobody feels less then. But your position would come with high clearance and if you prove yourself, with authority.” he clarified.

“Can I think about it?” she asked.

“Sure, but don’t take too long, Agent Simmons.” Mace smiled widely.

 

++++++++

Fitz was still reeling from the lie detector test, when Jemma walked through the door.

“Who is this guy to ..– to question us? I mean seriously, where did that idiot Talbot find him with his cheesy motto and fake smile?!” he fumed. Jemma put a hand on his chest, it was the gesture she used to calm his inner Hulk. Fitz sometimes wished his inner Hulk was big and strong so he could smash something instead of just impotently banging his fist against the wall in these situations.

“What happened?” she asked.

“They just hit a lot of nerves, kept poking around my…” Fitz pointed to his head – he still didn’t like to talk about his brain damage or admit aloud it has ever happened. “I guess they wanted to see if I’m too crazy, or something. What did he want from you?”

“He offered me an advisory post of sorts. Ostensibly to create a link between the old team and the new one. He seems to think I’m pragmatic enough to help him.” she said rolling her eyes. “I think he wants me to spy on the old band, really.”

“Of course, he does. I hope you told him to shove it.” he spitted out angrily.

“I actually told him I’d think about it.”

“You can’t be serious – why would you go and spy for this spineless weasel?” Fitz stared at her in shock.

“Think about it. You were in there today, they could split us up. They are already splitting the team up – and we have no information or control over any of it. So…?” Jemma looked at him questioningly.

“So you see it as an opportunity to play him…” he finally started to understand. “But you are a terrible…” “liar, I know…” she nodded. “I will only do it if you agree, Fitz. I don’t want this to come between us or tear us apart.”

“Why? You mean….” Fitz looked at her questioningly…

“You know, I would have a supervisory role…” she started cautiously, “…over me” Fitz clarified “well, not exactly, but at least some of the projects – look it was not clear how it was going to work, exactly. Forget it, maybe it’s a bad idea.” she sighed in frustration. He grabbed her hand.

“No, I told you before, I have no problem working for you, Jemma. And I really mean that, even apart from the screwed-up reorganization… You are literally the smartest person I know and if anyone, you deserve a promotion…” he said warmly.

“I hear a but coming…” she interjected.

“well, wouldn’t that keep you out of the lab most of the time?” he asked.

“It would guarantee to keep me in the lab at least some of the time - better than one of us being exiled to the Sandbox - and since you are mainly working with Radcliffe these days…” she said with a hint of something in her voice that Fitz tried to identify _(regret? jealousy?)_ “he could never replace you, Jemma…” he hurried to clarify.

“I’m just saying that I think this is the best way we can protect our work and our friends, even if it’s not ideal.” she added. He looked at her long and finally nodded with a pained expression “Probably, you are right. We’ll figure it out.” he smiled taking her hand and placing a gentle kiss in her palm. “Boss Lady” he winked at her.

“You are absolutely not allowed to call me that.”

“Well, it’s kind of hot. Not every humble engineer gets to have regular, amazing, mind-blowing blowjobs from the boss.” he continued in a low voice – _his bedroom voice_ \- taking in her shocked smile and the predatory glare in her eyes as she started to switch gears.

“It will be much less regular if you don’t knock it off…” she pretended to be outraged, but failed miserably. Fitz knew she adored whenever he talked even a bit dirty to her, which felt difficult, but he was working hard on getting rid of his hang-ups considering the effect it had on her. They both giggled and fell on the bed gracelessly.

“I am good at taking instructions.” he purred working frantically unbuttoning her shirt trying to peel her out of her clothes.

“Then shut up and make your mouth useful.” her command came out just a little breathless.

“Yes ma’am.” he smiled cockily as he started to kiss his way down her torso.

+++++++++++++++++++

“Agent Simmons, Agent Fitz.” Mace smiled widely at them with his fake politician smile. “I have reviewed your results and have given some further thought to the future arrangements. Agent Simmons I am glad to hear that you accept to be Special Advisor to Director in Science and Technology” Jemma heard Fitz snort loudly. “Agent Fitz, is everything ok?”

“Yes, of course. I just swallowed my water funnily.” _Later_ , he mouthed to Jemma’s silent question.

“Uhmm, good, so here is your lanyard.” Director Mace presented her ceremoniously with an orange badge. Then he turned to Fitz “Agent Fitz, I’d like you to stay as head of the lab here in headquarters. And of course, here is your badge.” He handed him a green badge.

“Could you please expand a bit more on the arrangement, sir?” Jemma asked.

“Well, I feel the levels are a bit outdated model. So, I have decided to go with a rainbow instead. All colours that make up the rainbow are important. So, yours is orange, which encompasses red and yellow, while Agent Fitz is green which encompasses blue and yellow…” Mace explained slowly.

“And if you mix red, green and blue in just the right proportions, you’ll get Cerulean blue. We are familiar with the concept of basic colour spectrum. What does it mean?” Fitz interrupted rather rudely.

“Well, it means that in the area of yellow, your security clearance and responsibilities intersect, while you both have areas the other had no access to. Compartmentalization, but with colours.” Mace smiled pleasantly.

“OK, but how do we know what is associated with which colour?” Jemma asked confused.

“The files will be colour coded. In any case, I think you will find this arrangement satisfactory, since technically, Agent Simmons will not be your direct supervisor, Agent Fitz – only for certain files, and you will not be direct colleagues, while on some issues you can continue to work together. It also gives me enough comfort to sign off on your – hmm, living arrangement…” Mace said in pleasant voice, which still felt as a thinly veiled threat. “I am looking forward to working with you, Agents. And Agent Simmons, I would like you to debrief tomorrow in my office on all major ongoing science projects.”

“Of course, sir.” she said with her own best imitation of a fake politician smile.

As they headed out the door, Fitz whispered in her ears “Congratulations, boss lady. You realize your new title spells S.A.D.I.S.T.”

Jemma groaned. “You will keep mocking me about this, won’t you?”

“Mercilessly.” he replied.


	12. Gamma Protocol (pre-4x01, M)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, maybe a bit more smutty than usual - but FitzSimmons are overworked and they clearly need a break. But there is plot too.
> 
> Warning: Explicit sex, sex toy (well, it's a prototype)

 

Fitz woke up to the low buzzing of his alarm. He looked over to see Jemma sleeping next to her – she looked exhausted even in her slumber. When he got in last night – well after midnight – she was still working. He had no idea when she finally got into bed. He felt a strong urge to wrap her in his arms and cuddle at least, but he was afraid to wake her when she still had at least an hour of sleep yet. He sighed and slipped quietly out of bed as he had to be in the hangar early morning to sign off on maintenance work on a number of Quinjets, so the field agents could depart.

Since Mace took over, they have both been working crazy hours. Jemma was buried in endless paperwork (reports, funding requests, project evaluations), while Fitz tried to fill the hole created in the lab by her new responsibilities, trying to stay on top of inventories and work orders, as well as training and supervising the new lab assistants. The rest of his time was dedicated to his new project with Radcliffe – creating a virtual reality training environment. He was very excited about the potential of the Framework and poured all his remaining energy into perfecting the technology.

While the work was for the most part stimulating, it felt to Fitz that their relationship was suffering. They were most of the time too tired to do anything but sleep in the privacy of their room and at work, even when they were together, they were always surrounded by the army of new people Mace and Talbot filled the base with. Fitz watched Jemma’s exhausted face for a moment before he left the room with a plan hatching in his brain.

++++++

Jemma finished the new funding request Mace asked her to prepare. She thought for a moment finishing early, grabbing Fitz – who was leaning over his precision instruments only a few feet from her, working on the headset for a new project, called the Framework - on the way and retiring to their room for a lazy early evening of sex and movies. Then her glance fell on her long task list and she reminded herself that she was not the type to fall behind with her homework. She was trying to triage the dozen things she was supposed to be doing all at once as high priority when suddenly a message flared up on her tablet. “Emergency protocol Gamma. Proceed to Drop Box site 9. This is not a drill.” She glanced over to Fitz to see if he got the same message, if he knew what the hell Gamma protocol was. The question on the tip of her tongue died when she noticed another line. “Clearance Red only.”

One of the things she disliked the most about their new arrangement was their different clearance colours (hers orange, his green) which meant they could not speak freely about their work anymore (which Fitz disregarded most of the time anyways, deriding what he considered idiotic red tape, but she tried to follow the rules to the letter for fear of losing the director’s trust, which gave her access to valuable intel). She got up from her desk. When Fitz saw her grabbing her coat, he asked if everything was ok. “Yeah, I’m fine. Mace needs me for something.” she replied and headed out the office.

Drop box 9 was located in a public park, where she found a map and a token with the instructions “Give the token to Salvatore.” She followed the map that led her to an ice-cream parlour. That’s strange, she thought.

She went inside “I’m looking for Salvatore.” An old, kind-faced man stood behind the counter. “That would be me, Miss.” he said. She gave him the token. The old man gave her a scoop of pistachio ice-cream in a cone (her favourite) and an envelope. “I didn’t order ice-cream” she looked at him confused. “It’s part of my instructions, Miss” the old man replied.

She thanked Salvatore and set down on a bench opening the envelope. It contained a sheet of paper in code, which she assumed were coordinates and a second, smaller envelope. The instruction read “ _Do not open until you reach the rendezvous point. Fibonacci._ ” Jemma worked for ten minutes on a piece of paper, enjoying the late afternoon sun and her exquisite ice-cream, to break the code. When she got the coordinates, she put them in her tablet to locate the place on the map. It was an upscale hotel downtown. She wondered if the protocol had been put in place under Coulson’s time, considering the quirkiness of the set-up. It was definitely too imaginative for a bureaucrat like Mace.

She hailed a taxi and headed over to the hotel. She entered the lobby and looked around. When she didn’t see anyone she recognized, she wondered for a moment if the others took longer to break their code (it was a possibility – it was quite a tricky one). She opened the small envelope and found a key card with a small sticky note, reading π. She took the elevator to the 3rd floor and found Room 14. She tried the key card, the light flashed green. She slowly opened the door “Hello? Anybody here?” she asked loudly.

Someone grabbed her and pulled her into the room. She almost screamed, but then saw familiar blue eyes smiling at her before he kicked the door closed and pushed her against the wall in a passionate kiss. Jemma felt a mixture of annoyance and amusement. She was also flushed and quite horny.

“Are you nuts, Fitz?” she hissed. “Someone will notice us both leaving at the same time during work hours. We can get in big trouble.”

“Oh, don’t worry – I got us covered.” he said slipping his hand under her blouse, caressing her torso with his impossibly warm palms. “This was actually a live demonstration of a very serious security loophole that the science department feels the Special Advisor should be aware of. I decided to personally debrief you at the end of the demonstration.”

“Oh.” she said, her annoyance gradually subsiding under his expert touch. “In that case, can we take the debrief to somewhere more comfortable?” she asked as they tumbled towards the bed, kissing madly. Jemma felt her passion rise and her body dragged down by weeks of stress and exhaustion suddenly become alive.

“First of all, it takes a skilled hacker less than a few hours to find their way through the main firewall, accessing the Director’s private files of Rainbow security from which all other files become accessible…” he started the debrief while unbuttoning her shirt, punctuating his words by covering her body with kisses while speaking. He unclasped her bra and Jemma was losing focus, having a hard time following his words.

“Said skilled hacker could gain access the Director’s private password, which is definitely not complicated enough considering the access it allows.” and at the words access he slid his hands down Jemma’s pants, his fingers touching her already wet underwear. “Wow, so hot and wet.” he swallowed, eyes darkening with desire as he continued. “This person could then use the password to activate or override protocols. If the person had dubious intentions, he could even lure a high-ranking SHIELD agent to an undisclosed location, for God-knows what sinful purposes.” he finished pulling off her pants and underwear all at once. She lay on the oversized bed naked and she arched her back with pleasure as his fingers played her like the familiar instrument it had become. In this position, she spotted the large mirror opposite the bed. A long-held fantasy surfaced in her mind. She turned around, leaned on her elbows, arched her back and lifted her bottom. She watched with amusement in the mirror as Fitz was rendered momentarily speechless by the unfamiliar pose.

“Shut up and make love to me, Fitz.” she said, just to see him blush, which he predictably did. He stared for a beat longer, gently caressing her butt cheeks, and the sensation together with the sight of her exposed nude body juxtaposed against his fully clad one sent new gushes of wetness down her pussy.

“Hot monkey love.” he muttered.

“I know how fond you are of everything monkey” she laughed.

Fitz sprang into action. He unzipped his zipper, pushed down his pants and rubbed his erection to her slick opening then pushed inside. They both gasped at the sensation of depth and pressure. The angle was perfect, hitting all the right spots and Jemma felt deliciously decadent looking in the mirror as he kept pumping into her, his face losing its previous smug grin, replaced by animal desire. It was not the most poetic of poses, but something primal and incredibly effective.

The friction made her tremble, and as he started to knead her bum a bit rougher their bodies slamming together rhythmically, she felt the pleasure spread down to her toes and travel up her spine all the way to the base of her skull. Weeks of stress and tension lifted as he was literally screwing her brains out or at least that’s what it felt like. It was a most welcome feeling as far as she was concerned. She felt tantalizingly close to release, the only problem was getting enough pressure on her clitoris in the position she was in. She tried to place a finger but their wild movement made it impossible to establish a pattern. Fitz noticed her machinations and leaned forward – his chest glistening with sweat covering her back and whispered into her ears “The science division would also like to report the development of a new prototype designed for similar situations.” He pulled a little thimble-like object from his shirt pocket, which still hang around his shoulders. He slid the gizmo on his fingers and touched it to her clit. It pulsated just at the right frequency and the heavenly vibration it created sent her right over the edge, moaning with pleasure. Her walls tensed around his cock violently, which in turn pushed him into his orgasm crying out loud and tumbling forward. She kept watching in the mirror as his eyes rolled back and the feeling of his pulsation inside her prolonged her pleasure. He put the vibrating ring over her clit again and she screamed loud as the second wave of orgasm crashed over her, stronger than the first one. He stayed inside her until the rhythmic clenching of her walls subsided, then he carefully pulled out, rolling onto his side, caressing her bare back as she laid on her stomach, resting her head on her arms. All her tension was gone and she felt happier than in weeks. She turned her head towards him, his sated, smiling eyes only inches from hers. “Wow.” she managed breathlessly.

“Indeed. Wow.” he said and kissed her deeply.

“That was very creative of you, I like your little prototype.” she giggled.

“You inspire me, even in the lab I keep thinking how incredibly hot and sensual you are.” he said with a wistful smile. “And I would just like to note that the science department has been feeling a bit neglected and somewhat frustrated which we all know decreases productivity. I read your task list, little SADIST – and you are responsible for the productivity of the science team – so treat this as a formal complaint.” his words were teasing but Jemma felt the real hurt beneath the humour.

She sighed “Yes, it’s been insane. But you know, maybe we could activate Gamma protocol every once in a while, just to blow off steam and increase productivity. Now, I am afraid you will have to repeat the debrief so I can prepare a report, because I lost you at security loophole, when my devious and very handsome boyfriend distracted me.”

“Well, the science department, knowing full well how busy you are with all your extremely busy work, has prepared a full report for you, ready to sign – in the hope that in the time it frees up for you, you could go perhaps for Round 2 with your devilishly handsome and rather horny boyfriend.” he smiled and handed her the tablet.

She quickly scanned through the report (in which Fitz elevated hiding sarcasm and innuendo behind dry, bureaucratic techno babble into an art form) and laughed – “looks perfect except you failed to mention the pistachio ice cream, which by the way was delicious and your little prototype.”

“I figured those were more from your boyfriend than the science department.” he caressed her nipples gently.

“OK, then, I guess those details do not strictly belong in the report. In my role as adviser, however, I have to propose a countermeasure to the detected security problem.” she looked at him questioningly.

“Well, the science department recommends that the director’s password is protected by extra security. Also, it would be a good idea to build an offline server room that could run the base in case of security breach.” he suggested.

Jemma nodded “Of course, we should have done that ages ago.”

Fitz leaned closer and said in a low voice. “I already found the perfect location for it – within the base, but remote. No security cameras. I estimate it to be a project that would require close to 200 man-hours to complete and important enough to require regular personal supervision by the special advisor to the director. It should be kept on a strict need-to-know basis. And I already moved a couch there.”

“I will remember to put that in my report.” she smiled mischievously. “Well, maybe not the couch.”  Then she turned to him fully. “Thank you, my brilliant and awesome boyfriend. I didn’t know how much I needed that.”

“Anytime. Are you ready for round two, now?” he asked.

“Definitely. Why are you even wearing any clothes? Come on, we need to fix that immediately.” she said as she straddled him and started to pull off his pants.

“Happy to comply, boss.” he smiled contentedly cupping her breasts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all wanted to know what was the surprise Fitz prepared for Jemma. Also, his voice was totally wistful when he talked about the offline server room. So this is my story and I am sticking to it.


	13. This is Real (FitzSimmons, M, post-4x01)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected question from Mace drags up a ghost from the past and Jemma finally learns the secret of Fitz's hallucinations. An angsty conversation followed by some angsty smut (is that a thing?)
> 
> It takes place sometime after 4x01.
> 
> Warning: There is SMUT (probably M-rated?)

  


“Thank you for the very, thorough update, Agent Simmons.” Mace suppressed a yawn as she finished her debrief of the new science projects. The plan seemed to work - overwhelm Mace with information, so eventually he would back off and give the science department the wide berth they were used to.

 

“Of course, sir.” she smiled in fake enthusiasm. As she got up to leave though, Mace stopped her. “Just one more question.”

 

“Yes, sir.” she turned back with a smile.

 

“You would tell me if you believed Agent Fitz needed a psych evaluation, wouldn’t you?” Mace asked seemingly casually, but his eyebrows were slightly raised.

 

The question started alarm bells blaring in Jemma’s head as she struggled to keep her face neutral. She did not like where this was going. “I’m not sure I understand the question, sir?”

 

“I assume you are familiar with his medical history.” Mace prodded.

 

“Of course, sir. As team medic…” she started cautiously. “I assume you mean his brain injury. I can assure you he’s fully recovered.”

 

“The lie detector flagged a rather worrisome aspect of that injury, Agent Simmons, that was not handled in accordance with the rules.” Mace countered coldly.

 

“Sir, I can assure you there is nothing to worry about …” Jemma reassured him, trying to hide the fact that she had no idea what Mace was exactly talking about.

 

“Very well, Agent Simmons. But I expect you to keep a close eye on the situation and report to me if there is any doubt.” Mace replied pointedly, with a barely disguised warning.

 

“Of course, sir.” Jemma left the office with her heart pounding. What the hell? She wondered if there was anything she missed in Fitz’s records. She had been following very closely his medical file during his recovery, consulting, _scrap that,_ hounding his doctors on a daily basis while he was in the hospital. After her undercover assignment when she returned to base, she anxiously poured over the records desperately looking for signs of him getting back to normal. _Was there something she missed_? She pulled out the records and went through again every file, every doctor report, but it was as she remembered - she could have quoted every single one of them by now. Still, nothing in these files explained Mace’s question.

 

++++++++++

She walked back to their room deep in thought. Fitz’s brain injury was something she had not thought much about lately - it was a dark patch in the past she thought they had left behind. He had made a remarkable recovery, and only little things remained; things that became part of the endearing whole that made up Fitz, little things that she loved so much because they reminded her how far he had come. The fact that he did not wear ties anymore, the way he became sometimes very quiet by the end of a tiring day because he could not remember the words choosing to touch, kiss, caress instead to feel close to her, the way he massaged his hand even when it was not trembling, or that he stuck post-it notes all over the bathroom mirror with words he was having a difficulty with, like  “enantiomer” “caulking gun” “diaphanous” “plasma manifold” Jemma smiled at the last one. _When did that come up in a conversation_ , she wondered.

 

“Hey, Jemma.” Fitz entered the room carrying a big paper file and his tablet. “I’ve been looking for you all over. You missed the trial of the new training module of the Framework. It was really promising - although Piper freaked out a little when her fits went straight through Davis’ head.” he laughed.  Jemma smiled tightly.

 

His expression became troubled immediately. “What’s wrong, Jemma?”

 

She wondered for a moment how to start. “Fitz, what are you hiding from me?” _Shit, that came out all wrong_ . Still, she saw a flash of panic in his eyes. So he _was_ hiding something.

 

He scratched his stubble nervously and stuttered. “What...what do you mean?.”

 

“Mace caught me off guard asking if I thought you needed psychiatric evaluation. Apparently, something was flagged in your lie detector test.” Jemma looked at him with a question.

 

Fitz stepped back and asked defensively. “What did you tell him?”

 

“That you are fine.” she said, but then added pointedly. “Are you really fine, Fitz?”

 

“Yes, of course…” he said.

 

“You must have said something that sent up a red flag…” she insisted. Fitz flinched a little and looked away. Jemma stepped closer to him and took his hand in hers. “I hope we can talk about these things… you must know that there is nothing you can say that would change how I feel about you…” she added reassuringly.

 

Fitz’s struggle was written all over his face. He bit his lips then took a deep breath.  “It’s the hallucinations.” he said quietly.

 

Jemma froze and squeezed his hands more tightly.

 

“But...there is no record of hallucinations anywhere in your medical file, Fitz.” she looked at him in confusion.

 

“I’ve never told the doctors.” he muttered as he stared at his shoes.

 

“When did this happen?” Jemma asked her voice sharper than she meant it, although she already suspected the answer.

 

Fitz pulled away and started to pace in the room, as if he needed to put physical distance between them after the confession. “It started after you left…” his voice was raspy with unreleased tension.

 

“What did you see?“ she asked breathlessly.

 

He shrugged than grimaced. “It was always the same, Jemma - it was you. I think… my mind couldn’t cope with the reality that I’ve chased you away…” he whispered, looking away.

 

“It wasn’t like that, Fitz…” she protested and felt the tears well up in her eyes. She had had a theory. She really had thought he’d be better off… Or was it really that she could not cope anymore with his moods and her own guilt?

 

“Wasn’t it?” he asked echoing the doubts inside her head and for a moment the raw pain was back in his eyes. The same hurt look he wore when she came back, when she realized how deeply it cut him.

 

“And what did I do…in the hallucinations?” she asked.

 

“You were like a guardian angel - telling me to take my meds, remembering words I couldn’t access, never giving up that I would get better…” Fitz smiled sadly. Still Jemma understood that the smile wasn’t for her, it was for this ideal in his head who he needed, who she couldn’t be for him. She felt a pang of jealousy towards this imaginary version who managed to find the comfort, the words when she hadn’t. “You know when everyone was believing that I was talking to myself - I was talking to you…” Fitz added.

 

“I was always talking to you, too…” Jemma whispered thinking back to Maveth. She would not have kept her sanity if she did not have Fitz to talk to. It was just a coping mechanism...“When did you realise that it was all a hallucination…?”

 

“I’m not sure - maybe deep down I always knew. I never saw you interacting with anyone else, and you were always wearing the same outfit…”

 

“ I hope nothing too lewd…” Jemma joked to lighten the mood.

 

Fitz looked at her with a frown. “It wasn’t… wasn’t like that…” he sounded offended, and strangely protective of that mirage, which irritated Jemma almost irrationally. “In any case - I was afraid you...she would disappear… but she stayed - even after I realized, as long as I needed her - even…”

 

“...even after I returned.” Jemma finished the sentence somewhat accusingly, thinking of all the times she saw him muttering to himself. She had always assumed he was practicing his sentences. Fitz nodded.

 

“You still didn’t say anything to anyone.” she noted, astonished that he managed to hide this from everyone.

 

“I was afraid they would send me away..” Fitz grimaced.

 

“Or did you, Fitz? Does anyone know?” Jemma thought suddenly of all the possible implications. Mace could never know this.

 

”Daisy...I told Daisy…” Fitz replied. Jemma was relieved because Daisy would never tell anyone, but it also left a sting to know that there was a time when Fitz chose to confide a secret like this in Daisy rather than in her. When he would turn to others with his pain.

 

She forced a smile on her face. It wasn’t Fitz’s fault. “Thank you for telling me. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me…that she was what I couldn’t be...”

 

“Jemma, it doesn’t matter anymore…” Fitz shook his head.

 

“We can’t let that happen again...” Jemma blurted out.

 

Fitz stepped closer. He softly kissed the teardrops she didn’t realise were running down her face. She wrapped her arms around him...and hugged him tight. It was painful to remember the time when the chasm between them was so wide and unbridgeable that she had no idea how much he was struggling. She was angry that a ghost of herself could find a way to him, when she couldn’t.

 

She wanted to be close to him, to feel that the distance was in the past. She wanted to erase that ghost for good and felt the overwhelming need to find a way to show Fitz that their imperfect reality was still way better than any conjured version of their relationship. This - here was real and it was all that mattered.

 

She was not a perfect angel, but she could be other things. She started to unbutton his shirt sinking her nails into his flesh leaving pink marks. As his collar bone was exposed she bit it not too gently -  she wanted him to feel it, to know that she was marking him for herself. His nipples hardened under her fingertips. His erection pressed into her stomach responding to her touch.

 

Jemma pushed him to the bed and unceremoniously unbuttoned his zip freeing his cock. Normally she would have played with him, caressed him longer, but a primal urge was stirring inside her to possess him. She moved her hands down his length a couple of times, fondling his balls with her fingertips. His blue eyes looked at her with a mix of confusion, surprise and desire. Desire won out as he bit his lips and tilted his head backwards with a soft moan.

 

Jemma felt a bit of triumph - _top this little angel_ \- as she licked the tip of his cock slowly, looking into his eyes provocatively. He swallowed hard and she felt his erection thicken even more in her hand and under her lips. She took his cock in her mouth slowly, inching down taking it as deep as she could. The deep, guttural noise that he made sounded almost like a cry. Jemma started to bob her head, establishing a steady rhythm. She was aware of him watching her and when he put his hand on the back of her neck, it set her belly on fire.

 

“Jemma” he groaned in warning.  

 

She let go of him and stood up. She undressed quickly and climbed on top of him. They both gasped as she lowered herself on him. She leaned over to kiss him, the salty taste of his cock and her tears blending into a heady mix. He responded hungrily sucking on her lips, caressing, kneading her breasts and her butt. She started moving on top of him, picking up a punishing pace which he tried to match bucking his hips towards her. He licked his thumb and placed it against her clit, trying to create some friction. He couldn’t quite establish a rhythm with her frantic movement, but Jemma rubbed against it as best as she could, the tension building and spreading from her core to her limbs until her entire body was tense, begging for release. Their ragged breaths and the sound their bodies made as they slapped together filled her ears.

 

Fitz’s face contorted into a grimace that was somewhere between pleasure and pain - a telltale sign that he was close. Jemma increased the depth of her movements taking him in fully. She pinched his nipples and leaned over him, her hair falling in a cascade, forming a curtain around their faces. “This is real…” she tightened her grip on him.

 

Fitz closed his eyes as he came with a loud groan and bucked his hips upwards to bury himself into her even more. Jemma felt his cock widely pulsating against her walls, which made the yearning for her own release even more urgent. She slowed down then pressed her fingers on her clit and it took only a few circles pressing the aching nerve bundle hard against the bone to feel her body tremble and her walls clamping down hard on his softening cock. She collapsed on top of him panting, her heart beating fast against her chest, the sweat forming a moist, cool film between their bodies.

 

“This is real…” she muttered again almost angry, feeling her face wet with tears.

 

Fitz wrapped his arms around her tight and softly caressed her hair. “I love you, Jemma.” he muttered.

 

“I love you, too. I... I don’t want anything to come between us - no secrets, no ghosts from the past. Promise me...”

 

“This is better than anything.” Fitz said kissing gently her hair sighing contendedly.

Somewhere in the back of her mind Jemma realized that he did not fully respond to her question, but then she lost focus as Fitz started playing with her - caressing, licking her nipples, gently biting her earlobes, running delicate fingers across her hip bones resonating in slight tremors in her belly. He ran his fingers over her pussy dividing her folds until they zeroed in on her clit. Jemma moaned hungrily. “I have a feeling we are not fully done here.” Fitz whispered into her ears, smiling wickedly, sending Jemma’s senses on fire again. “I bet there is another one in there, or maybe even two, Jem. It would be a shame to waste any of it…They are all so magnificent.. Your hungry little pussy, always ready for more...” he rasped. She could never resist when he talked even a little dirty his voice mixed with deep desire and smiling self-consciousness reminding her both of the painfully shy, innocent 16-year-old he once was and the attractive, confident man he became. Her body responded with even more wetness, soaking her entirely. She opened her legs shamelessly to give him more access. His clever fingers knew exactly what she wanted.

With a deep sigh, Jemma let go of her anger, pain, guilt and doubt. She wanted to feel that sweet explosion again that cleared her mind of all the worries and pain, so she succumbed herself to the feeling of his hands that worked on purposefully, teasing another orgasm out of her. _This is real_  - she kept repeating silently as she felt her universe contracting into the tiny bundle of nerves pulsating with an elemental need, ready for release.

 

“I like real…” Fitz whispered into her ear, his hot breath tickling her earlobes. “Show me, Jemma…” was the last thing she heard before she cried out as her second orgasm washed over her more forcefully than the first one.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5x14 made it canon that Jemma at some point learnt about Fitz's hallucinations of ImagiJemma. This is my take on this...
> 
> This takes place after 4x01, so Fitz is already hiding AIDA from her, which explains some of his responses throughout this fic.


	14. Freefall (missing scene, early S4, G)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jemma still has nightmares about falling out of the airplane. Fitz has an idea to help her. Mostly fluff. Inspired by 5x17 - The Honeymoon - Jemma POV
> 
> Timeline is early S4 - I will re-arrange chapters once I figure out where it best fits.
> 
> Warnings: No warnings (unless you are afraid of heights or falling)

_She’s falling again. The clouds and the sea are spinning around her in a disorienting white, grey and blue swirl as the mad rollercoaster ride is making her nauseous and terrified. The cold wind bites into her and tears at her skin. She wants to think of something peaceful, like the infinite blue of his eyes, but all she can feel is the terror. It will be over soon, but not soon enough. 30,000 feet is a long way down. Long enough to know exactly how her bones will shatter on contact. The shiny surface of the water is getting closer, she screams in fear…_

Jemma woke up panting in the dark, her pyjama shirt soaked with cold sweat and her mouth dry. She tried to slow her shaky breaths. _She was safe, she was home_ – she tried to remind herself. She sat up and rested her chin on her knees. Things were stressful – and nightmares have become more frequent. Suddenly, she felt Fitz’s warm palm stroking her back along her spine in slow motion. He sat up next to her and put an arm around her. Jemma let her head fall on his shoulder. His touch calmed her and centered her as always.

“Bad dream?”, he asked softly.

“Yeah, I’m OK.”, she replied. She didn’t want to worry him unnecessarily.

“What kind of nightmare?” He kept circling his thumb on her shoulder in a soothing motion.

“It’s nothing, Fitz, really. Go back to sleep.” Jemma smiled at him, though in the dark they could only see the contours of each other’s face.

“No, I want to know what’s bothering you,” he insisted quietly, his breath hot against her neck.

“It’s not…fine,” she wanted to deflect but she remembered they promised each other not to keep secrets, and try to work through problems together. “...just a bad dream about falling…through the sky…”, she whispered. She could feel his body tense at the memory and his thumb froze in place.

“I dream about that too, sometimes”, he said, his voice thick, after a short pause. “I think that was the day I realized…that you were more… that you were everything.” He pressed a kiss on her forehead. Jemma felt tears piercing her eyes – painful and happy moments were bound together in intricate knots on the fabric of their love. As much as they tried to avoid talking about the painful memories, sometimes there was no way around them. “It feels like every defining moment we have, happens during a major disaster.” Fitz added with a sigh.

 _I don’t even want to think about what our wedding will look like_ , Jemma almost quipped, but stopped herself. They had been together only for a few months, and they have never talked about it. It was probably too early, she knew Fitz well enough not to rush him. He had to arrive to these conclusions at his own pace. “Now we are together, and make new memories. Better memories,” she said hopefully. Jemma never liked dwelling on the past. The future was theirs and things were going to be OK now.

“An excellent idea,” Fitz said and kissed her lips.

 

+++++++++

When Jemma finished her last meeting of the day, she headed over to the lab. Sure enough, Fitz was there immersed in a design, absentmindedly scratching his head and furrowing his brows – a tell-tale sign that he was stuck on a problem.

“What is that?” she asked looking at the screen over his shoulders.

“Just playing with some ideas on the next generation Zephyr.” He shrugged. “I’m thinking how we could improve the manoeuvrability in space.” _Lincoln_ , Jemma thought. Fitz was still thinking about what he could have done, about how to prevent it next time. It was so much like him – trying to come up with a tech solution for every problem under the sun. Sometimes she wondered if one day he would invent something to beat death. “But for the moment it doesn’t really work - I’m still missing something…with gravity…”

“Come on, let’s make it an early night,” Jemma suggested with a smile placing her hand on his shoulder.

He looked up at her. “No, wait, I have a surprise for you,” he said and pulled out the headsets for the Framework he had been working on.

“Oh, don’t tell me you built me the meadow,” Jemma laughed, “because we could just take a car and drive to an actual park, you know.”

“No, not quite. It’s a new training scenario, I wanted to show you.” Fitz said. “What you said last night about happy memories got me thinking. Put it on“, he said as he handed the headset to Jemma. He put the other one on his own head.

“You’re coming in with me?” she asked.

“Yes, of course. It takes two to make happy memories, no?” he looked back at her with a lopsided smile.

Jemma bit her lips a bit apprehensive about what shenanigans he may be up to, but she put on the headset. She froze in terror as she found herself on an open cargo-ramp of a plane. She felt the wind on her skin and her stomach lurched violently.

He grabbed her with both hands and as Jemma tore her eyes away from the frightening sight of the open sky, she saw his face close, eyes shimmering.

“Is this your idea of fun?” she asked angry.

“Trust me. This is safe,” he replied. “Nothing can happen to us – it’s just a simulation.”

“A terrifyingly realistic one.” shouted back Jemma over the howling wind.

“I hope so, I put serious hours into it,” he countered with a cocky smile. “But remember, you have a parachute, and I programmed our headsets so we can still hear each other’s voice during the jump. Come on Jemma, let’s slay this dragon together.” He extended his hand and after a moment of hesitation she took it. They walked to the edge of the ramp hand in hand.

“On the count of three…,” said Fitz. Jemma closed her eyes, let a slow breath out and jumped. The air currents tore their hands apart immediately and she started flailing in panic and spinning uncontrollably. She let out a scream. Then she heard Fitz’s voice, although she couldn’t see him.

“Still yourself, Jemma, don’t fight the currents, use them. Birds can do it, so can you.”

“Birds have wings, Fitz,” she snapped back, but the panic subsided a little from his voice and she managed to spread her arms and legs, just as they taught them at the Academy, all those years ago. The freefall slowed a little. She managed to lift her head and look around a little to see Fitz was just above her, arms and legs spread, trying to stabilize himself. “and bone structure built for this,” she added, but felt her mind calming as she pictured the magnificent soaring birds: cranes, frigate birds, whooper swans, mallards.

“Yeah, but it’s just basic physics, Jemma. Thrust must equal drag and lift must equal gravity, and you get level flight. That’s really all there is to it,” he ducked and managed to level himself out next to her. He extended his arms and their fingers touched, but the current threw them backwards.  They turned back towards each other and tried again. This time they managed to grab a hold of each other. Jemma arched her back and they were falling in perfect tandem.

“Did you know that the Ruppell’s griffon vulture is the highest flying bird ever recorded? But of course it’s easy for them, as their blood contains a special type of hemoglobin and makes the oxygen intake more effective.” she rattled on. She had found out a long time ago that talking to Fitz was the easiest way to fight her way through moments of panic.

“Yeah, it’s truly impressive”, Fitz said and she could hear in his voice that he was smiling. “I’ve read about this recent experiment they did on frigate-birds to figure out how they sleep. And they found out that sometimes slow wave sleep happens on both brain hemispheres simultaneously.” Jemma knew he sometimes leafed through her scientific journals, mostly looking for inspiration for his gadgets and, she suspected, to be able to throw random facts at her from her own field.  “The researchers concluded that birds don’t need uni-hemispheric sleep for aerodynamic control.“ he finished.

“That’s amazing Fitz. I just wish I didn’t have to think about flying when I sleep…” Jemma said.

“Ok, time to open the shutes…” Fitz said and let her hand go.

They both got thrusted backwards.  Jemma pulled the string and her fall immediately started to slow until it felt like she was floating; suspended in the sky. For some reason, the image of Pooh floating through the sky with a balloon popped in her mind that used to make her laugh incredulously as a child whenever her dad read the story to her. _“But where did Pooh Bear get the helium from, Daddy? And even then, he’d be too heavy surely?”_ she used to ask. Only now did it occur to her that in a story with imaginary forests and talking stuffed animals, the most ludicrous thing she found was a balloon that did not obey the laws of physics.

“So?” Fitz’s voice brought her back to reality.

“It’s so peaceful here, Fitz. It’s breath-taking.” she looked around at the serene blue sky, the fluffy clouds above and the azure sparkling sea beneath. “We’ll land in the ocean?” she asked a bit sceptically.

“No, it’s just over there,” Fitz said pointing north-west. Jemma saw the contours of an island with white sandy beach and palm trees. They floated towards the beach.

“Remember…” Fitz started “Bend your knees on impact and roll with it, I know.” Jemma finished. Once the fear was gone, her training came back. She landed softly and felt the warmth of the sand as she rolled over. She detached the parachute and looked around – the palm trees were gently swaying in the sea breeze and she could smell the salty sea air.

Fitz stood next to her fighting to untangle his straps then asked with a proud smile “So what do you think?”

“Quite the experience. Are you going to have everyone land on a tropical beach?” she asked.

“No, this is only ours. You know, to make up for that Seychelles holiday we never had. The others will get a boring green field.” he smirked.

“I wish we could stay here – it’s amazing.”

“I’m afraid there is not much behind that sand dune,” Fitz said with a grimace. “I didn’t have time for the details… But we can stay and watch the sunset.” he said plopping down in the sand. Jemma sat next to him and held his hand.

They watched the sunset in silence, listening to the crashing waves, as the golden rays of the sun cast an endless, but narrowing golden bridge over the water, until it fully disappeared behind the horizon leaving only orange clouds.

“This was perfect, thank you.” Jemma said standing up and pulled Fitz into a hug. She lifted her head and kissed him slowly, tenderly, savouring the hint of salt on his lips.

“I just hope it works.” Fitz murmured softly into her hair.

“Time to go home.” Jemma sighed and took off the headset.

 

+++++++

That night she did not fall in her dream, but was floating in the sky peacefully. She looked up, and instead of a parachute, she saw a giant blue balloon above her head… Then her father’s exasperated face had come into her line of vision as he floated next to her with an open book in his hands. She woke up with a laugh….


	15. Broken Pieces (post-4x02, T)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz has nightmares followed by late-night FitzSimmonsing in the lab. Set after 4x02. Fitz POV
> 
> Warning: nightmares, no smut

Fitz woke up struggling to breathe, covered in cold sweat, heart beating fast. That in itself was not surprising; nightmares had been his constant companions for quite a while now. There were the greatest hits, most of them featuring Jemma. Falling out of the plane, him jumping after her, only to get to her a few seconds late, her body breaking on contact. Then there was the one where he got to Maveth only to find her dead body, decaying – the message on the phone saying _, why didn’t you save me Fitz, I believed in you_? Another variant on that theme found her rotten flesh possessed by Hive as she crawled towards the portal – looking at him standing over her with a flare gun – _Don’t do it, Fitz, don’t you know I love you?_

The nightmares had become more frequent lately, which he figured was normal. Keeping AIDA secret from her weighed heavily on his conscience. He felt he couldn’t risk Mace shutting down the program though, before its potential was revealed – it was so promising. An elegant solution to end all the nightmares.

His most recent nightmare however didn’t feature Jemma. He saw himself running towards Daisy, who was surrounded by Watchdogs. She was trying to keep them off, but she got weaker and weaker. In a last attempt to quake them, he heard her bones break into a thousand pieces, her arms hanging useless. When he got to her, she was dying, the light in her eyes slowly fading, _Too late, Fitz, it’s all too late._

He slipped out of bed quietly, trying not wake Jemma. He didn’t want to add his nightmares to her worries – she had enough trauma of her own to deal with. He headed to the kitchen and made some tea, all the recent events – the ghost box, the guy with the flaming head, the haunted look on Daisy’s face, Mack’s hurt silence on the way back about Yoyo’s betrayal – spinning in his brain. _You need to fix it before it’s too late,_ he thought. 

He felt overwhelmed by it all, but then he remembered what his first lab supervisor used to tell him “Don’t try to do it all at once, Fitz. Focus on one piece at a time. And if you can’t find a solution, just sleep on it.”  He couldn’t shake the feeling that the dream was somehow important. Then the idea surfaced suddenly and he headed over to the lab and turned on the holotable to capture it before it flew away.

He looked up when he heard footsteps. Jemma was standing in the doorway looking at him “What’s going on, Fitz?” she asked. They hadn’t had a chance to talk – she was already asleep when he got back last night. “What is that?” she noticed the design. She stepped closer to look at it and turned to Fitz “You’ve seen her, haven’t you?”

Fitz nodded. “She was so – she had this haunted look in her eyes and her arms were so hurt – Jemma.  If she doesn’t come back, I think she’ll get herself killed eventually.”

“Did you tell her to come back?” Jemma asked.

“Of course, I told her to come back. Mack and me, both of us. I told her that she shouldn’t turn her back on us, that we could help.” then he grimaced “Actually, I was mostly yelling at her. But that’s not… right – is it? To just walk out on people, you’re supposed to care about. Who does that?” _Your father, that’s who._ He hated that his voice sounded like a petulant teenager’s. The angry kid, he thought he had left behind a long time ago.

“It’s hard when people are pushing you away.” Jemma noted sadly, and Fitz wondered if this was somehow a veiled reference to their own past drama when he was hurt and kept pushing away everyone. _Well, at least I didn’t leave,_ he thought to himself.

He continued “And she is doing all the wrong things – including convincing Yoyo to steal the bone-healing pills behind Mack’s back. I mean he is beyond pissed – you could cut the silence on the way home.”

“Rightly so. Poor Mack, must be hard, a betrayal of trust like that.” Jemma said and Fitz thought again guiltily at the android. He keenly remembered those days of stony silence when he kept Daisy’s transformation from her. Another secret like that could destroy them. Still, they were so close with Radcliffe, AIDA was almost ready to test and then he could finally tell her. Jemma’s gaze unnerved him as he wondered if his guilt was written all over it.

“Well, he’ll probably get over it eventually.” Fitz said hoping that was the case. Mack and Yoyo had clearly something good brewing, and he was happy for his friend. “It just feels like everything is going to hell again and there is hardly anything we can do to fix it.”

“I hear you. May got infected with the ghost stuff, so there’s that.” she said sadly. Fitz looked at her shocked. He bit back a comment about his own encounter with the ghost.

“But you can help her, right?” he looked at her questioningly.

“It’s out of my hands – Mace decided that she would be treated somewhere else.” she said in a voice that implied Mace was an idiot. _Well, nothing new there._

“Where did he send her? I mean who better than you to find a cure…”

Jemma averted her gaze with a grimace. “I can’t tell you. It’s classified.”

“But you disagree.” Fitz noted and she only nodded. “You see – this is what I am talking about. We keep all these secrets – and slowly trust erodes – and for what? He is just making us weaker. And I can’t do a damned thing about it.” he felt riled up. Mace was as good a target for his impotent anger as any.

“But you are still making new gloves for Daisy.” Jemma smiled at him. “You know, this amazing ability of yours -  rising above petty grudges – someone hurts you and instead of sulking, you sit in the lab in the middle of the night trying to figure out how to make something for her. I love this about you, Fitz.”

He felt his cheeks turn pink from the compliment as he muttered. “I just want to make sure she’s OK. She’s our friend and it feels like we somehow let her down. And for the record, I did sulk all the way home.”

Jemma laughed and turned her eyes back on the design. “Can I take a look?” she asked and started to turn it around. “This is quite brilliant, Fitz. I still have the data from the time I’ve made the first gloves. Would it help you with the simulation?” she asked.

He felt his anger dissipate replaced by the excitement he felt that Jemma liked his design – that feeling never got old, “Sure, let’s take a look. I actually was wondering how to protect better the radial bone. It seems that it’s somehow more affected than the ulna…”

They looked at the biometric data together. Then Jemma started to have that _heureka_ look “Fitz, I think we just need to add a layer of absorbing insulation material – the hard shell gives the stability…”

“…of course, and the insulation will absorb the micro-resonance. That way her bones will be protected.” He finished the thought excitedly. “Would you know a chemist to pinpoint the right material?” he smiled at her.

“I may have some ideas.”  and she started to input different compound data.

Different versions of the design appeared as they kept modifying the parameters “You know… I miss this. Us. Like this…The good old basics. Somehow we always did our best work together.” Fitz looked at her as they moved in perfect sync around the holotable.

“I know. I miss it too.” she said with a hint of regret. “But for now, it is what it is.”

Fitz grabbed her hand. “Wait, just look at that – it seems perfect…” he looked at their last gauntlet design satisfied. “I’ll start building the prototype tomorrow.”

“You think she will come back.” Jemma stated.

“Yes, I do. Because we are her family. And hell, if she doesn’t I’ll send it to her through Yoyo with the next shipment of stolen drugs. I just want her to be safe.”

“I know.” Jemma wrapped her arms around him. “Come, let’s go back to the room – we might get a reputation if people see us in the lab in the middle of the night prancing around in our pyjamas.”

“Oh, no what will we do if some of these numpties think that I have a fetish involving shagging the Special Advisor in the lab.” Fitz rolled his eyes then grabbed Jemma’s waist and lifted her onto the holotable. “Don’t you think our excellent collaboration deserves a celebration?” He asked with a suggestive smile and started kissing her neck. She closed her eyes for a second, clearly considering the proposition, then she pushed him away gently.

“Still – let’s take this party somewhere more private. Remember the last time we tried to make out in the lab.” she stroked his cheek gently.

“OK, I take your point. It was just a wee bit embarrassing.” He took her hand as they headed back to their room “Still you know that you’ll have to make good on that fantasy someday…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place after S4 EP2
> 
> I think Fitz still clearly had some unresolved issues / trauma from almost losing Simmons - which made him take foolish risks with AI


	16. Cocoon (post 4x03, M)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitz has an amazing ability to comfort Jemma, slow and sweet smut ensues. Set post 4x03. Jemma POV
> 
> Smut (very light)

Jemma sat on the floor of the bathroom, shivering and sobbing, clad in her bathrobe. She kept her composure during the day mostly, but in the safety of her room, all the stress, panic and tension caught up with her and she couldn’t keep herself from crumbling. At least she wasn’t unravelling in front of her colleagues.  

She heard soft knocking on the door. “Jemma?” and Fitz’s concerned voice. He slowly opened the door, and immediately sat next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. During their long years of friendship, Fitz had witnessed her falling apart like this already a few times, and knew it all too well that she hated to be vulnerable. But she knew she could trust him; it was safe letting her guard down with him. His familiar smell and touch felt like an antidote to the storm raging inside her.

“I cannot get warm.” she shivered.

Fitz wrapped his arms tighter around her. “You are in shock.” he said.

“We killed May. And the power went out – and I thought we lost her. She laid there dead – I was thinking it’s all my fault.” she said sobbing. Their shared guilt about Lash had brought her much closer with May in the past year. They searched for him together, she helped Jemma with her combat skills. Jemma always admired her calm presence, her steely resolve and her no-nonsense attitude, but she had become more than an esteemed colleague. She was her mentor, her friend. She was really like a mother to all of them.

“It’s OK. May is OK. You saved her, Jemma.” Fitz said in a soothing voice. He was on the line earlier when Jemma and Radcliffe talked to Coulson.

Jemma shook her head. “No, it was not OK. I did something reckless. And losing May like that? If Radcliffe didn’t have this battery -" she thought and then stopped for a moment " – actually do you know about that battery?” she looked at Fitz questioning. He had been spending a lot of time with Radcliffe lately, and the Framework’s progress was amazing, but still she couldn’t shake the feeling they were keeping something from her.  

“He may have mentioned it. You know he talks my ear off all the time.” Fitz shrugged evasively, then scooped her up. “Come on – let’s get you into bed. Let’s warm you up.” He helped her up, led her to the bed. He tucked her in under the blanket like a child. “You know what’s supposed to be really good for warming up? Sharing body heat.” he smiled then undressed to his boxers. "Let's test that theory." he said as he slid under the blanket next to her, wrapping his whole body around hers. It was a heavenly feeling to be warm, to be safe in a cocoon that could not be touched by the troubles of the outside world. He held her for a long time quietly, until finally she felt the shivering stop and her body relax.

“Thank you.” she said quietly.

“For what?” he asked and gently kissed her hair. “I like warming you up.”

 _For being here, for being you, for knowing exactly what I need even when I don’t know myself, for picking me up when I fall apart_ , she thought. “For that too. You are definitely the most excellent source of body heat.” she remarked smiling.

She turned around, now facing him, looking long in his eyes and their lips met in a slow and tender kiss. Then she flicked her tongue inside his mouth, caressing the tip of his tongue, tasting, discovering. He kissed her back passionately, the salty echoes of her tears filling their lips. She felt her nipples harden through the thin fabric of her nightgown scraping against his bare chest.

His hands moved up and down her back stroking, kneading her muscles gently from neck down to her butt. She felt the tension being replaced by warmth, and she almost purred under his touch. Fitz then pulled the nightgown over her head, freeing her breasts, and started to cover them with kisses, tracing gentle circles around her nipples. She gasped when his hands travelled down to her underwear and he caressed lightly her outer lips through the sheer, silky material. She felt herself become incredibly wet under the tantalizing, feather-light touch which made her ache for more contact. Her hands were playing with his chest, caressing his nipples, feeling his steady heartbeat. She raised her hips slightly to get more contact and he pulled off her knickers covering her mound with his palm, just keeping it under delicious pressure for a moment. The heat radiating from his hand engulfed her lower body. She closed her eyes. With his fingers he gently teased her opening, feeling the wetness, then slowly inserted a finger, then a second and he absorbed her moans as they kept kissing. He pulled out his finger and started tracing slow soft circles around her clitoris. The tender touch was getting her more and more wound up, until she couldn’t take it anymore and she thrusted her hips towards him trying to increase the friction. He understood her wordless demand, pressed his fingers harder letting her climax wash over her finally. Her moans sounded almost like sobs.

She pulled him closer, took his hot, pulsating cock firmly in her hands and started caressing it gently, feeling it thicken some more. She touched the head against her slick opening then spread the wetness down slowly sliding her hand up and down. She watched his eyes from up close, seeing his pupils darken. She lifted her leg letting him push inside her than wrapped their legs together. As they laid on their sides facing each other, he slowly started to rock inside her. The angle was a bit restricting, but there was a sweet intimacy to the position, allowing them to keep kissing, caressing each other. As their kisses deepened, Fitz rolled them gently so she was laying on her back. He deepened the contact and she lifted her hips wrapping her leg around his waist. He moved deeper and faster and their breaths quickened. Her fingers kneaded his shoulders as he kept pumping. She inserted a finger between them putting pressure on her clitoris that sent her over the edge again sending electric pulses around her body, releasing the tension of the day, quieting the rapid firing of images inside her brain. He watched her with an amazed smile then a few thrusts later followed her coming with a sharp breath and soft moans. He slowly pulled out of her and rolled onto his side keeping their close embrace until Jemma finally rolled away.

“I’m finally too hot.” she giggled “and feeling much, much better.” She kissed him again. “So how did it go in Miami?”

“Oh, not much to say really. Just bashed a few guys head in, built some compasses out of wine corks and saved day.” Fitz joked, but she could see that he was quite pleased with himself.

“Really?”

“Well, the EMP knocked out all our electronics – so it was just pencil and paper. Totally old-school.” he said, recounting the events of the day.

“Sometimes old-school is nice.” Jemma remarked, thinking back to their lovemaking just a moment ago.

“Indeed. Being on field assignment with Mack and Coulson felt like good old days.” he said wistfully. She knew he keenly felt the absence of the old team as they had been split up under the new direction. This reminded her of the other big development of the day.

Looking at his sated smile, she figured it was a good time to bring up another long-standing discussion. “Fitz.”

“Yes?” he raised his eyebrows.

“You know, now that SHIELD is out of the shadows, we can finally look for an apartment outside.” she said caressing his chest and stomach gently.

“But why? We just set this room up, right?” he asked.

Jemma sighed. “Come on, aren’t you sick of living on base? Same old walls, same people. No windows. It would be more private. We would have more space.”

“Space for Bridget?” his interest was piqued. He has not yet given up on the idea of getting his giant TV screen.

“If you insist on a threesome.” She laughed. “We could have hardwood floors, a real bathtub, our own kitchen with a breakfast nook.”

“A breakfast nook? You hardly ever eat breakfast.” Fitz grimaced. He often teased her about her fat-free, gluten-free ( _according to him taste-free_ ) food choices.

“Still – I like the idea. Just imagine – making pancakes…” Jemma winked at him.

“…yes, or waffles…” he nodded – predictably, he could be wooed by food.

“… on weekends. Enjoying lazy mornings.” she daydreamed.

“When was the last time we had a lazy morning together, Jemma? You realize we’ll hardly spend any time there?” he did have a point. They were both working insane hours. _But maybe it was time to slow down and just enjoy more time together._

“Come on, don’t be such a killjoy. Maybe if we’ll have a proper home, we’ll spend more time there.” she suggested.

“I guess that’s possible.” He shrugged, clearly not convinced.

“So we agreed?”

“Do I have a choice?” he said. “If I say no, we’ll have this argument until you wear me down, won’t we?” he asked, and he was not wrong.

“Well, perseverance is one of my strengths…” she said.

“Relentlessness, I’d say.” he teased.

“Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.”

 “You promise to make pancakes every weekend?” he asked.

“I don’t know about every weekend.” she frowned.

“Well, it doesn’t have to be pancakes always. Waffles are good too. Or omelettes. But I want it written down – Jemma will make pancakes or waffles every weekend, enjoy a lazy morning at least once a week and Fitz will get to put Bridget on any wall of his choosing. Deal?” he smiled.

“Great – I will look at some options.” she felt excited. It was time to start living their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place after Episode 04x03.  
> Good old times, when Jemma's biggest problem was that she killed May during a blackout.


	17. Silence (missing scenes 4x04-4x07, M)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FitzSimmons fight about AIDA, Jemma learns of Fitz's disappearance and frantic, make-up smut ensues. That's it.
> 
> Set between the end of Ep 4x04 and 4x07.  
> Jemma POV, as that was missing a bit.
> 
> Smut

Over the years, Jemma learnt that silence between Fitz and her had different qualities. Silence was companionable as they worked or studied side by side. It was warm and relaxed as they lay in bed entangled, basking in the afterglow of lovemaking. Silence sometimes replaced words and thoughts as they communicated with their eyes, instinctively understanding each other. Silence could be heavy and impenetrable whenever a secret or lie put a wedge between them.

The silence that stretched between them on the way home was the extremely uncomfortable type; the type that chilled them to the bones, froze the words on their lips and seemed to increase the distance between them, pulling them apart with invisible hands. Fitz tapped his fingers nervously on the steering wheel stealing worried sideways glances at her. Jemma stared out the window, pursing her lips and commanding her body to be very still, while inside she was suffocating from an onslaught of confusing emotions that she was trying to sort through.

The android caught her completely off-guard. When she first saw it, she was stunned how lifelike it was, way beyond anything she had ever seen before. But after the initial surprise, the implications started to hit her, and she felt a combination of anger and fear rising in her. She couldn’t believe that they would ever get to a stage when Fitz would work on a major project like this without involving, or at least informing her. When she took the advisor post with Mace she was so sure it would not change them. In retrospect it seemed like hopelessly naïve, wishful thinking. Still, she felt replaced, by Radcliffe of all people, whom she tried to like for Fitz’s sake, but never really trusted. Now it seemed like Fitz trusted him more than her, and the thought was unbearable.

She turned to Fitz and asked, her voice cutting like knife; “Were you going to tell me?”

He looked at her pleadingly; “Jemma, I told you, I wanted to tell you, but could not risk it with the lie detection.”

“So instead now I’m in the position where I can choose between getting you, myself or both of us fired.” she retorted angrily. “Have you ever stopped to consider the implications on the people around you? And for what? To prove that you can do it?”

His voice sounded hurt. “Of course, I considered it. But imagine the implications, Jemma. LMDs could save lives. We could use them to replace agents in dangerous situations…” Of course, he had a point.

“Even if that’s true, you know it as well as I do that SHIELD can never use this technology under the Sokovia accords.” She looked at him as his right hand was tugging nervously at his earlobes.

“It’s not technically AI…” he said.

“It doesn’t matter, Fitz.” she snapped, not wanting to be pulled into an argument on technicalities. “People won’t understand the difference and will never allow this. Why risk everything we had for this? We never used to have secrets like this. If you only told me…”

“You would have talked me out of it?” he asked sarcastically.

She nodded. “Yes, and you know it. Which is why you haven’t told me. Fitz, we have never worked on something so much in the grey zone of ethics…”

“Oh, come on, Jemma, you know it’s not true. You gave Daisy GH-325 without having any idea what it would do…” Fitz said and she stared at him in disbelief that he would go there; he would drag up something from the past that he knew still haunted her to win an argument.

“That was different. I was trying to save her life.” she said angrily, tears welling up in her throat.

“This is all AIDA is about, too. Saving lives.” She knew he believed it, but didn’t understand why he couldn’t see her point of view.

“Then why not get the proper authorizations?” she challenged him.

Fitz shrugged. “I don’t trust Mace can understand – he’s a clueless bureaucrat, Jemma, who would never take risks.”

“And now you don’t trust me by extension.” she stated matter-of-factly.

“That’s not it. You know that I trust you, but the lie detection…I was trying to …protect you.” he stumbled over the words nervously.

He parked the car in the garage and they walked in silence to their room. Jemma pulled out her laptop and sat down at her desk, turning her back to Fitz. He stepped behind her, hesitantly putting his hand on her shoulder. A part of her wanted to lean into his touch and hug him until the tension between them was dissolved. But another part of her was holding onto her anger – the feeling of betrayal and that part wanted to punish him and didn’t care about collateral damage, even if it happened to be herself. Anger won out, she pulled herself away from his touch and said without tuning around. “I have some work to finish, Fitz.”

He sighed and wordlessly headed to the bathroom, his shoulders hunched over in a defeated pose. She watched him go and stared at her screen – unable to process the words in front of her, her thoughts captive to her anger and sadness.

A few hours later, when he was asleep and she was still staring at her screen, she realized that she never told him about the apartment.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Jemma changed out of the hazmat suit and put back on her jacket. “Where is my phone?” she asked. She wondered if Fitz had called her – they didn’t have a chance to talk for nearly a day – she wondered if he was back from the mission.

One of the black suits handed her back her mobile phone and when she saw the number of missed calls and messages, panic washed over her. With trembling hands, she dialled to listen to the messages.

“Dr Simmons, this is Agent Burrows – Director Mace wants you to call as soon as possible – we have a situation that requires your immediate return.”

That was strange – she listened to the next message  and heard Fitz’s voice full of worry:

“Jemma, I have no idea why you are not picking up. I know you are still mad at me, but please let me know that you are OK. We need to talk. Tell me that this is not the thing that will tear us apart? I love you and I’m sorry.” His voice broke a little at end and Jemma could imagine his face, worried, insecure, blue eyes looking with confusion and hurt. Mace could wait, she decided, she had to call back Fitz.

She pushed her speed dial, but the phone went immediately to voicemail. “Fitz, I’m on my way back. Let’s talk when you can. Love you too.” she said.

She then called Mace. He picked up the phone, “Agent Simmons, how did the mission go?”

“It was.. strange, sir. Let’s discuss it when I am back. I’m calling because Burrows left me a message about a situation.”

Mace sighed heavily on the other side. “Agent Simmons, there was an unfortunate incident… during the mission to find Eli Morrow. Agent Fitz, Agent Coulson and Robbie Reyes are MIA.”

Icy chill cursed through her veins, her inner ears started to throb, her voice was shaking; “What incident? What do you mean MIA?”

“It seems that they were hit by a blast and disappeared. It could be the same technology at play as with Lucy Bauer. Dr Radcliffe is looking into it.”

“Blast? What blast?” she asked her voice taking on a hysterical tone.

“Agent Simmons, I know this must be hard, but you will be fully briefed when you land. In the meantime, we are doing everything we can to understand what happened.” Mace said.

“I… why didn’t you call me immediately…?” she demanded.

Mace's voice was level. “We tried to contact you. Agent Simmons, let’s discuss this in person.” He hung up. She stared at the phone.

Jemma tried to call May and Radcliffe, but nobody picked up the phone. She felt like she was going to throw up. Her mind was playing back on endless loop Fitz’s message, the desperation in his voice torturing her. She thought back to the box with the invisible lines that Fitz showed her – and she felt desperation – even if he was not dead, there was no way they would understand the technology or to be able to control it. Her brain was telling her that he was most likely gone, but still she couldn’t comprehend it. It was not possible. He couldn’t just disappear after a fight, and leave things unresolved. It was not possible that unkind words and denied touches were the last things exchanged between them. This could not be the end of their story. He could not possibly have left this world, dissolved in a quantum energy blast, thinking that she didn’t love him or wouldn’t be at his side no matter what.

++++++++++++++++

She looked at the footage in disbelief as the lab techs were trying to explain what happened. Fitz standing there in a moment and then disappearing in the next. “I want to talk to Radcliffe.” she turned to them.

“He is working on something with his assistant, Aida to bring them back. They think that the agents are lost in a different dimension.” Nathanson tried to explain.

“I said I want to talk to Radcliffe.” she repeated, her voice sharp as a whip.  Then she froze as she heard a familiar voice full of emotion on the corridor. “Fitz!” “Jemma!” She ran into his fierce embrace not caring about the staring eyes, hugging him, holding him as tight as she could and never let go. They stayed like that for a long moment listening to each other’s ragged breaths, the staccato of their heartbeats.

“I was so worried about you.” Fitz murmured, his breath hot against her neck and Jemma snorted at the absurdity. She broke their embrace to look into his eyes. “You were worried about _me_? You were the one stuck in another dimension, Fitz.”

He just looked at her shell-shocked and she could see the tension, hurt, panic and relief stirring up a raging storm in his eyes. She felt an overwhelming desire to kiss him right in front of everyone, but she was not sure she could stop. She grabbed his hands instead and pulled him along to their room. She opened the door with shaking hands and they stumbled inside crashing against the furniture. She kicked the door shut and locked her lips on his pushing him against the wall, kissing him desperately, violently, tasting the bitterness of adrenaline and trying to soothe his parched lips. Her tongue darted around inside his lips laying claim to every inch. He kissed her back with equal passion, his hand grabbing her hair just behind the base of her skull.

She tore his shirt open, eager to reach his skin, biting his nipples, tugging on the fine, soft hair on his chest, marking him as her own, as belonging to this dimension. He cupped her ass, lifted her and she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist as he closed the short distance to their bed. She landed on her back and pulled him along, not willing to decrease the distance. He tore her blouse apart and she thought she heard the sheer silk rip, but she didn’t care. He pulled off her bra, sucking and biting her nipples. The pain mixed with pleasure sent sharp electric signals to her brain increasing her need to feel him inside her. Their hands were fumbling with each other’s belts, and once Jemma’s zip was open she lifted her hip to let Fitz pull off her pants and underwear in one forceful move. She helped him push down his pants and boxers and she looked for a moment mesmerized at his hard, red cock - on that day, more than ever, it was a magnificent monument raised in triumphant celebration of being alive. Her folds were slick and she raised her hips to meet him halfway. He entered her with one powerful stroke their hips crashing together as he buried himself inside her as deep as he could. He started to move at a frenzied pace – his usual tenderness replaced by a primal need of possession -  moaning with unrestrained desire. The friction created by his cock and his hips turned her insides on fire, setting up fireworks as her eyes rolled back and she came with a loud scream sinking her nails into his back, scratching the living flesh. He seemed to lose all control as his movement became even more frantic and finally burst inside her. He collapsed on top of her gracelessly, his weight crushing her was welcome as a reminder that he was really back, heaving heavily, kissing her lips and she tasted something salty, realizing both their faces were wet with tears. He rolled off her onto his side. She hugged him tight and rocked him gently stroking his face, his hair, his back. “You are alive, you are back.” she whispered. “We are OK, it’s all OK.” her voice trying to soothe both of them.

“Are you still mad at me? I’m so sorry, Jemma. It was wrong to keep that from you…” his voice was hoarse. He looked at her and she could see the raw fear in his eyes that she would leave him if he ever screwed up.

“Shhh, it doesn’t matter. All that matters, is that you are back. I love you and would never let a silly argument tear us apart…” she saw the doubt in his eyes. She raised herself in her elbow, her face close to his. “You know that, right? You are more important than any of this…”

 “I know.” he said, but the uncertainty did not leave his eyes.

“But do you know it here?” she asked and pointed to his heart. “I need you to know it – I am not leaving you just because we have an argument. I love you and will keep saying it until you believe me, Fitz.”

He smiled faintly and nodded. “Okay.”

“Good.” she said and laced her fingers into his. “And for the record, I’m not mad about AIDA anymore. How could I be, when she saved your life?”

“It was all so surreal, Jemma. Being sucked down into another dimension. Then May brought this book, the Darkhold, and somehow it showed AIDA how to build an inter-dimensional gateway. I mean, I don’t even understand any of the stuff that happened. I just wanted so badly to get back to you. To be able to hold you again. To let you know that I didn’t just disappear…” he was talking nervously, stroking her hair.  “What happened to you? Why did they take you to Senator Nadeer?”

“How do you know about it?” Jemma asked.

“I heard Mace talking to her. Obviously, he didn’t see me – having gone all ghostly. It has some upsides…” he was trying to joke. It was lame, but Jemma smiled nevertheless. It meant he was getting over the shock.

“Not much to tell. They put a hood over my head. Put me on a plane. We landed at a secret facility, where they asked me to examine an inhuman who had been in the husk for months. I coaxed him out, but before I learnt his name, they whisked me off. They took my phone, Fitz. That’s why I couldn’t call you back. I’m sorry you were worried.”

“I know.” he nodded.

“I had no idea Nadeer was involved.” she said.

“I heard Mace. I don’t know what game he is playing, but I don’t trust him.” he said angrily.

“I don’t trust him either, Fitz. And he is lying about something – something that happened in Vienna.” she said yawning, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with tiredness as the adrenaline left her. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Yeah.” he muttered, eyelids heavy. “We need to find Eli Morrow. He is dangerous, Jemma.”

“We will. Let’s sleep for a few hours. We need it.” She pulled the blanket over them and put her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and feeling his chest rise with each breath. The silence was peaceful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set between the end of Ep 4x04 and 4x07.  
> Jemma POV, as that was missing a bit.


	18. Good Vibrations (post 4x08, T)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buskids are reunited - good feelings all around.

“Another beer?” Fitz asked, getting up from the couch.

“Hell, yes. I don’t think I’ll ever sleep – so wired.” Daisy nodded, the quakes she absorbed during the day resulted in pent-up vibrations cruising through her body.

“So – excited to be back then?” Jemma asked her.

“I don’t know if I missed SHIELD, but I missed you guys.” she said, and it was true. As much as she had wanted to get away from everything after Lincoln died, she was relieved to be back. These two adorable dorks especially were more than friends – they were like the siblings she never had. She was touched that they just accepted her back without a speech or reproach, picking up things exactly the same way as they left off. They loved her whether she felt deserving of their affection or not and it was a disorienting feeling for Daisy who always felt that she needed to do special things to earn love.

Fitz came back with the beer bottles and plopped right in between Daisy and Jemma. “I’m making a toast” he announced. “Let’s drink to having all my favourite people in the same room together again.” he said and clinked his beer bottle against the girls’.

“I’ll drink to that.” said Daisy. Then she asked nodding towards Coulson and May who were sitting close together talking in hushed voices, a bottle of whisky between them “So tell me, what’s going on with those two?”

“No idea, but it’s slightly disturbing.” Fitz said rubbing his fingers over the opening of the beer bottle causing it to emit a high-pitched noise until Jemma elbowed him and gave him a stern look.

 “It’s like watching your mum and dad about to make out.” Daisy nodded.

“Hey, that is a bit too specific – thanks for planting that image in my head…” grumbled Fitz. “I’ll be weirded out now…”

“Well, to be fair, Fitz, you are too easy a target for me.” Daisy replied with a devilish smile.

“That’s true.” Jemma chimed in.

“Hey, don’t you be you two ganging up on me.” Fitz said sulking only half-mockingly. Daisy watched as Jemma’s fingers brushed up slightly up against his, and he started to smile again. “OK, I think that this conversation has gone already downhill enough. It’s time we turn this into a movie night? We left off Season 4 at a cliffhanger…”

“Wait – you guys haven’t watched it..?” Daisy looked at them, somehow touched that her friends would wait for her return.

“How could we, without your running commentary…” Fitz and Simmons were talking over each other now  “…and constant disruption” and Daisy looked at them with a pleased smile realizing that they haven’t changed after all “it is not quite the same experience.”

“OK, OK – no need to go passive-aggressive – you can just tell me to shut up, you know?”  Daisy smiled at them as she stood up from the couch.

“You two go ahead, I’m just going to go and make some popcorn.” Fitz announced. Some things, like no movie nights without popcorn were sacred tradition and Fitz insisted on upholding it.

Daisy went ahead with Jemma and curiously entered their new bunk. It kind of looked like both of them, but clearly more Jemma than Fitz, if the compulsive tidiness was anything to go by.  As she saw their familiar stuff, neatly side by side, suddenly it was real – her friends were really in a relationship. She suddenly felt an odd pang – _not exactly jealousy, she was elated for them._ But that strangely familiar dread when she knew she was going to be thrown out from yet another foster family _\- is she going to be a third wheel_? She felt Jemma’s eyes on hers and she immediately schooled her features into a smile as she turned to her friend. “So, give me all the juicy details – how is everything?”

“It’s great – really, better than I ever imagined.” Jemma said and flushed in the cheek.

“Well, that was as juicy as a desiccated lemon.” Daisy quipped.

“Fine, you know Fitz, he is really thoughtful and sweet – and well, the complete trust helps with the sex too. It’s different than anyone before…” Jemma beamed.

“I guess the secret ingredient was always missing.” Daisy shrugged.

“What is that?” Jemma looked at her curiously.

“Being in love…” Daisy replied.

“I suppose…” Jemma said quietly, occupying herself with smoothing imaginary wrinkles on the bed-cover.

Fitz came back with a giant bowl of popcorn and some water bottles. “Are you guys talking about me?” he asked with a charming smile. The girls just rolled their eyes. He sat down next to Daisy and put the bowl in her lap as he turned on the movie on his laptop.

“Wouldn’t you say that a bigger TV screen would be much better?” Fitz asked innocently. _Oh sure, the bigger the better_ – the answer was on the tip of Daisy’s tongue but she quickly swallowed it when she saw the annoyed look on Jemma’s face.

She chuckled. “Oh, oh, ok. I see where this is going. Do you really think, Fitz, that there is a universe in which I’d take sides in this particular argument?”

“Hey, I thought we were allies on this.” he said elbowing her.

“You just have to learn to fight your own battles, brother.” Daisy elbowed him back.

As Daisy was sitting, sandwiched between her friends, she only paid half-attention to the TV. She thought about the nervous energy Fitz and Simmons used to vibrate around each other since Fitz’s brain damage – since her terragenesis feeling that edgy aura that surrounded them was sometimes excruciating for her.  Now their energy had a different quality to it – it was replaced by something less manic, more positive and upbeat – but definitely calmer.

A devilish plan hatched in her head. She tapped into the energy field that surrounded them and started to manipulate the vibration slightly and subtly changing their frequency. It was only right that they would share some of the pent-up vibrations she absorbed throughout the day.

She stared at the TV screen and pretended not to notice as her friends’ cheeks turned slightly flushed, and they started to squirm and steal lustful glances at each other.

When the film was over, she stood up and said with an exaggerated yawn – “that’s it, I’m turning in. Good night, guys.”

“You sure you don’t want to watch another one?” Fitz asked, but without much conviction.

“Nah, the beer finally hit me. Have fun guys.” she said and winked at them before leaving the room.

 

+++++++++++++

 

Jemma was wiped after the day and wanted nothing more than to sleep, but didn’t want to disappoint Daisy and Fitz, who both seemed excited about continuing their old movie-night traditions. Still, she only half-paid attention to the screen while trying to supress her yawns. About halfway through the movie though, she felt a strange tingling sensation. It first started in her toes and fingers – a funny feeling, as if an army of ants were marching around, massaging her cells from the inside filling them up with energy.  The tingling travelled up her limbs, all the way to her core. Then it moved up and down her spine, erasing all the tiredness, leaving a fiery warmth in its path. The waves of tingling seemed to spread downwards, and she felt herself become embarrassingly wet.  The vibrations from all around her body seemed to converge into her clitoris – and the dull throbbing of the little bundle of nerves turned into mad pulsation rather rapidly. She felt a sudden urge of shutting down the TV, kicking Daisy out of the room and jumping Fitz’s bones.

She stole a glance at him – he sat next to Daisy motionless, hugging a giant pillow in his lap. The tip of his tongue was slightly visible, as he absent-mindedly licked his lips – one of the many ticks (some of them endearing, others infuriating) that were tell-tale signs that Fitz was hatching a plan. Jemma wanted nothing more than to feel that tongue on her clitoris, knowing that anything else would be too rough to provide release from the maddening throbbing she felt.

Fitz – as if reading her thoughts – met her eyes briefly and Jemma felt dizzy for a moment from the predatory look he gave her. They both looked away quickly, but Jemma still felt her cheeks flushing. She stared instead at his hands, picturing his fingers teasing her flesh and the heat inside her seemed to mount even more. She felt skittish and had to take a deep breath to stay still.

Finally, when Daisy announced that she would go off to bed, Jemma could barely wait until the door closed shut behind her before crashing her lips on Fitz’s. He responded with the same urgency and they were tearing off each other’s clothes before her footsteps died down at the end of the corridor.

 

+++++

Fitz was yawning into his second cup of tea when Daisy walked into the kitchen in training clothes, her hair pulled into a messy ponytail. She took out a bottle of water from the fridge and sat down across from him.

“Rough night?” she asked with a smirk.

Fitz felt slightly annoyed at her cheeky question and he felt his ears turning red from thinking back to the mind-blowing sex of the night before that she was sure Daisy had a hand in – so to speak. Their stamina reached levels that would even put horny teenagers to shame. He opted for shrugging instead avoiding Daisy’s eyes and mumbled “Didn’t get that much sleep… is all. You are on the hand chipper this morning.”

“Well, early morning training gets the juices flowing.” she chuckled. Then she said warmly, “Truth is, my bones haven’t felt this good for months. It’s great to be without the pain. Thanks, Fitz, those gauntlets are awesome.”

“You are welcome.” he nodded. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, then he remembered. “Hey, Simmons told me about the apartment. That was very nice of you.”

“Oh, did you like it? Are you guys taking it?” Daisy eyes lit up.

“Well, I haven’t had a chance to see it yet” Fitz replied “and Jemma thinks it’s a wee bit unethical maybe – so let’s see…” he finished with a slight shrug.

“I’m so happy for you guys. But it’ll be strange here without you at the base.” Daisy sighed.

Fitz stood up and took his cup to the sink. Then turned back and smiled at her with mischievously. “You are still welcome to come over for movie nights… anytime…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first ever Buskids story - I'm really struggling writing Daisy. 
> 
> They need some more fluff, thinking about all the stuff that's about to unleash upon them. Takes place after the finale of the first pod of Season 4.


End file.
